Got a promotion. Now everyone hate me. PGP

Threw my back out sneezing today. PGP.

“Man, this weather is crazy.” PGP.

“Thank you for scheduling your payment” Fuck off. PGP

Life becoming a fine balance between Officespace, the Truman Show, and Groundhog Day. PGP

Taking vacations scrolling through Google Earth. PGP

My coworker asked me to read something to her because I knew the Greek Alphabet and she didn’t. They were Roman Numerals. PGP

The old guy gives me the McGavin “shooter” every time I walk past him in the hall. PGP.

I want to trash my office on the way out tonight and just ride off into the sunset a hero. PGP.

My girlfriend just got the “I would like to speak to a manager” haircut. #PGP