Wine makes me sleepy. PGP.

Threw my back out while lying on the couch this weekend. PGP.

“Happy Monday!…” PGP.

AC in my car went out. PGP.

Too broke to change my Brita filter so I guess I’ll just keep drinking Miller Lite. PGP.

“Too young to live like I’m over the hill. And too old to be wild and free.” PGP.

My new boss says “pacifically” instead of “specifically.” PGP.

8 a.m. and I’ve already told people to “fuck off” under my breath three times. PGP.

Knowing the CEOs grandson will get promoted before you but still being pissed off when it actually happens. PGP.