Another one of my pledge brothers just got engaged. Another man down. PGP.

Telling the interns to work hard in school so they don’t have to work here after college. PGP.

7 a.m. is the new sleeping in. PGP.

The funniest group text I’m currently in is with myself, my mom and my sister. PGP.

I have no idea how to do my job. Boss said I was doing great. PGP.

The coworker who sits between us got promoted, and now Steve won’t stop trying to talk to me. PGP.

The inspirational quote in your email signature makes you getting fired the change I want to see in the world. PGP.

The sun is out for the first time in a month and I have one of the few windows in the office. People won’t stop bothering me. PGP.

The only handicapped person in our office complex and I have the same poop schedule. PGP.

Monday, you son of a bitch. PGP.