Dry spell is approaching ‘Nam-like proportions. Neverending. PGP.

I still have an iPhone 4. PGP.

38 minutes late to work today because I jacked off in the shower this morning. I didn’t even finish. PGP.

Bought a new bed in January. Still haven’t gotten laid in it. PGP.

Work is slow and quiet today. It’s making me anxious. PGP.

That one annoying person you couldn’t stand in college is now a part of your “crew”. PGP.

The awkward moment when your boss asked you to perform a task you lied about being proficient in on your résumé PGP