No! This is a very valid point, one to be cognizant of for sure and something I certainly overlooked in writing this piece. Everyone, men and women, should air on the side of caution (especially in accepting drinks) on a first date.
Okay, so I won’t lie in saying this is certainly the hardest part. People DM me to ask about transitioning from witty banter to a physical date a lot, so you’re not alone. I know a lot of people say to “cut the bullshit” and just ask if they want to get a drink, but I think that’s naive advice. It’s like there’s two ends of the spectrum, on one end you have someone who chats forever and can’t commit and then you get tired of them and stop responding and on the other end you have someone that’s like “Hey, what’s up? Drinks Wednesday?” and you’re like “OKAY SLOW YOUR ROLL SERIAL KILLER!” There’s a reason people like to talk before they go on a date, and it’s to decide if it’s worth their time. I think that’s the ticket – Identifying early that you are worth the persons time. Are you funny, or kind, or really rich? Make that clear early.
When it comes to going from texting to meeting in the flesh, here’s some suggestions that have worked for me:
After a little bit of conversation throw out an excuse. “Hey, works getting crazy I’ll have to get off my phone soon. Any chance you’d want to get a drink sometime this week?” It shows you’re normal and have a job, that you’re considerate enough to let them know why you stopped responding so quickly, and you won’t run through all your material over text.
Cut out any sort of “what are you looking for on here” inquiries off the bat. For whatever reason it automatically insinuates you’re only looking to get laid. Unless you are, in which case always lead with that. I have always found the “what’s your worst bumble date” conversation to be fun and gives you a good read on what they’re looking for.
Push the conversation to be about an activity or particular location in your city. Instead of talking for hours about what you do for work (that’s date talk) ask if they’ve been to a new bar in your area, or if they’ve ever done a sake bomb, or if they were planning on going to whatever outdoor concert is happening this weekend. The idea is that eventually you’ll get to a natural “we should check it out” stage and won’t have to bring up a date out of the blue.
Hi Jax! Can I call you Jax? So I think in the past the no bio thing was a huge red flag and people always advised not to swipe on them at all (most would still advise this). I think there was a moment in time, albeit a brief one, where people took apps seriously and therefor curated their profiles meticulously (masterful bios were the norm). These days, however, I think people are fatigued with the whole process because so many people ghost, swipe without any intention of going out etc., so people are not putting nearly as much time/energy into the apps. All this is to say; I wouldn’t discount a no-bio profile. If you feel like he’s worth your time hit him with one of the following;
If he’s got the pretty boy look:
“A face like that AND no bio? $5 says you’re a bot”
“Confidence is: no bumble bio. I’m impressed”
“Honestly. How many girls do you actually pick up without a bio?”
If he’s goofy:
“Was your bio so funny you had no choice but to delete it? You know, to give the other guys a chance?”
“No bio, no problem. I like the shy type.”
If he’s edgy/trendy:
“Is no bio the new bio?”
“No bio? Please tell me I’ll at least get maximum results out of this minimal effort”
Advertise
Nah that’s not it
Content like that doesn’t just happen to everyone.
“I was once proposed to in a graveyard” seems like something you need to write ASAP.
Get it
No! But not far from there!! Great rooftop patio at surfside
This was so good
Don’t ruin this for me!
This is how I will be doing resolutions from now until eternity
Jac, e-mail me!
Wow this was big for me
I’ll give you $750 for it
No! This is a very valid point, one to be cognizant of for sure and something I certainly overlooked in writing this piece. Everyone, men and women, should air on the side of caution (especially in accepting drinks) on a first date.
What is up TX Forever.
Okay, so I won’t lie in saying this is certainly the hardest part. People DM me to ask about transitioning from witty banter to a physical date a lot, so you’re not alone. I know a lot of people say to “cut the bullshit” and just ask if they want to get a drink, but I think that’s naive advice. It’s like there’s two ends of the spectrum, on one end you have someone who chats forever and can’t commit and then you get tired of them and stop responding and on the other end you have someone that’s like “Hey, what’s up? Drinks Wednesday?” and you’re like “OKAY SLOW YOUR ROLL SERIAL KILLER!” There’s a reason people like to talk before they go on a date, and it’s to decide if it’s worth their time. I think that’s the ticket – Identifying early that you are worth the persons time. Are you funny, or kind, or really rich? Make that clear early.
When it comes to going from texting to meeting in the flesh, here’s some suggestions that have worked for me:
After a little bit of conversation throw out an excuse. “Hey, works getting crazy I’ll have to get off my phone soon. Any chance you’d want to get a drink sometime this week?” It shows you’re normal and have a job, that you’re considerate enough to let them know why you stopped responding so quickly, and you won’t run through all your material over text.
Cut out any sort of “what are you looking for on here” inquiries off the bat. For whatever reason it automatically insinuates you’re only looking to get laid. Unless you are, in which case always lead with that. I have always found the “what’s your worst bumble date” conversation to be fun and gives you a good read on what they’re looking for.
Push the conversation to be about an activity or particular location in your city. Instead of talking for hours about what you do for work (that’s date talk) ask if they’ve been to a new bar in your area, or if they’ve ever done a sake bomb, or if they were planning on going to whatever outdoor concert is happening this weekend. The idea is that eventually you’ll get to a natural “we should check it out” stage and won’t have to bring up a date out of the blue.
Does that help? Keep it up, player.
Yes!
I like this.
Hi Jax! Can I call you Jax? So I think in the past the no bio thing was a huge red flag and people always advised not to swipe on them at all (most would still advise this). I think there was a moment in time, albeit a brief one, where people took apps seriously and therefor curated their profiles meticulously (masterful bios were the norm). These days, however, I think people are fatigued with the whole process because so many people ghost, swipe without any intention of going out etc., so people are not putting nearly as much time/energy into the apps. All this is to say; I wouldn’t discount a no-bio profile. If you feel like he’s worth your time hit him with one of the following;
If he’s got the pretty boy look:
“A face like that AND no bio? $5 says you’re a bot”
“Confidence is: no bumble bio. I’m impressed”
“Honestly. How many girls do you actually pick up without a bio?”
If he’s goofy:
“Was your bio so funny you had no choice but to delete it? You know, to give the other guys a chance?”
“No bio, no problem. I like the shy type.”
If he’s edgy/trendy:
“Is no bio the new bio?”
“No bio? Please tell me I’ll at least get maximum results out of this minimal effort”
Get it girl.
But if you’re applying to jobs then you’re doing great!!
I’ll keep you both posted! Will you do the same? Let me know how it goes!!
I’m adding to list, thank you!
Gr8 question rickflairwoo. i have a place i furnished and run as an Airbnb, but i squat there when it’s empty. Should have clarified!