My girlfriend reads Things Girls Do After Graduation, so now I have mad ring pressure. PGP.

I fucking love going to Lowe’s. PGP.

Wife said I have to turn my Instagram to “private”. Now I will never get 100 likes. PGP.

Ghosted a potential supplier. PGP.

I don’t know how to put a GIF directly into a comment. PGP.

Only accepting LinkedIn connections based on how hot/wealthy they look in their photo. PGP.

Not being a father, but loving most of the items on the Father’s Day gift lists in my emails. PGP.

I work for a “work hard, play hard” company. PGP.

Just spent my morning creating fake meetings on my Outlook calendar for Friday so people can’t hijack it with their bullshit. PGP.