My New Year’s resolution is the same as it was sophomore year in college: To stop pissing myself while blacked out. PGP.

If your name is Steve, does that automatically make you the Steve in your office? PGP.

Just gave my two weeks during my annual performance review. DOBBY IS A FREE ELF. PGP.

I have a constant day dream of watching “The Big Lebowski” in my bathtub while eating a large pizza. PGP.

The effort going into faking sick on the phone is more work than I would actually produce in a day. PGP.

Made the big financial splurge for Spotify Premium. PGP

The thought of sleeping in tomorrow is making me giddy. PGP.

Being more stressed out from having nothing to do than by having a lot to do. PGP.

Two years into the real world. Still haven’t used algebra. At all. PGP.