My therapist has a PhD in Psychology from Columbia and the thing that drew me in to her the most, besides her demeanor, was that during our first session she was able to explain to precisely and anatomically how memories work and how they are tied to emotions, how PTSD fucks up the standard memory/emotion process and how anxiety is the result of abnormal GABA neurotransmitter activity. Of course take my opinion on face value as I’m a CPA and not a scientist or a therapist, but knowing the underlying chemistry behind my problems made them more “real” rather than just going to someone to talk them out.
If your therapist takes your health insurance, then they do cover it. How they cover it depends on the type of health insurance plan you have (ex – if you have a $2,000 deductible and your therapist charges $200 an hour, your first ten hours won’t be covered unless you’ve made progress to that deductible from other medical expenses.) If they don’t, chances are your health insurance has some sort of out-of-network plan where you can get at least part of it paid. My therapist doesn’t take my insurance, but I have pretty good out-of-network coverage so about 65% of my cost is covered. I would consult your HR/Benefits dept at work and ask.
If you think your problems are big enough to qualify for therapy, then they probably are. Google around, different therapists specialize in different areas. Mine’s specialty is PTSD, anxiety emotional trauma, which she treats via EMDR. When I was initially looking for a therapist, I was looking for someone with that kind of expertise. I would also look at their credentials. If possible, find one with a PhD (so that they understand the physiology and chemistry of your issues) and not just an MSFT.
Finally, if your very new boyfriend would thinks that you’re crazy for treating your mental health, fuck your very new boyfriend.
This is incredible and I’m so happy for you. I hope that this piece serves as the final push PGP readers who are considering therapy, but need that final push. Mental health is just as important as physical health and in many cases, like with depression, it’s just as physical. Just because you can see a cast covering a broken bone, but can’t see the faulty neurotransmitter activity in one’s brain causing negative thoughts and emotions, that doesn’t mean that the former is real but the latter isn’t. Both are real and serious medical issues that can and should be fixed.
Don’t: forget that the boyfriends of your girlfriend’s friends are friends with your girlfriend first and you second. If you two ever break up, chances are those friendships will end.
Next time, instead of having her tell you what to get, try to figure it out on your own, especially if it’s something she wants, but hasn’t thought to get it herself. It’ll get you so much more brownie points and will honestly probably be cheaper than dropping $200+ on a bag.
Case in point: this year, I got my girlfriend a bunch of different things, but her favorite is the $15 Kate Spade (RIP) travel coffee mug I got her. Why? She loves Kate Spade and a few weeks before her birthday, she lost her old travel coffee mug but never got around to getting a new one. Now she uses it every day and loves it. Brownie points for me because getting this shows that I listen (most of the time) when she talks about wanting/liking/needing something.
But if you can’t about it on social media, what’s the point of going apple picking or to pumpkin patches or to nice restaurants or to the beach or on vacation or working out or even getting married?
The trash talking is mainly because of the perception that Android phones suck because of the lack of data-driven messaging between the two platforms (there’s no iMessage equivalent for Android so unless you use a third party app like WhatsApp, which the rest of the world uses, you’re limited to SMS and MMS) and the prevalence of cheap and shitty Android phones. The data-driven messaging issue will go away with the implementation of RCS over the next few years and the marketing of the high-end Android phones revving up (Samsung, Pixel, etc.).
I switched back to Apple because even though the camera on my Pixel 2 was godly, and honestly it was the best phone I’ve ever used, the majority of my social network uses iMessage and not WhatsApp so I got tired of sending/receiving overly compressed videos/pictures (because fuck MMS) that looked like they were shot on a Nokia phone from 2005.
It wasn’t the same though. You’d still see all of the notifications, just sorted by app. Now, going off the WWDC screenshots, you’ll just have one notification under an app and it’ll tell you how many notifications you have (so if you have 4 unread texts, it’ll say “4 messages” under iMessages). Sounds small, but it makes a big difference for work flow.
The thing I’m most excited about is grouped rich notifications. Since switching back to Apple from Android a few months back, it’s been the one thing I miss. Apple users who have never used Android don’t know what they’re missing or how amazing they are. Seriously contemplating installing the iOS 12 beta just for that.
Of course, I was being facetious. I’m well aware that we are the largest oil producer in the world and we didn’t actually invade countries for their oil.
There’s less gas stations there because fewer people drive since the public transportation is so amazing. The Paris metro is unreal. Also, gas there is insanely expensive because European countries didn’t go spread democracy in order to get lower gas prices like we did.
I hope you ate all the cheese you could while in Paris. It’s been a month since I got back and I still dream about how amazing the cheese there is.
He’s young and he’s marrying someone with more red flags than a Chinese military parade less than a year after meeting her. There have been previous signs that all hope is lost for him.
Girl with the boyfriend going to Vegas: totally agree with what Dillon said. Don’t make him pay for the sins of your ex, especially if he’s never given you any indicators of that kind of behavior. If anything, you getting jealous and overbearing has the potential to come out as a negative between you two. I would sit him down and explain the situation to him. He then should reassure you that he’s not that kind of guy, won’t do what your ex did, etc. and you two should be good to go.
Guy dating the woman 7 years older than him: if she wants kids, her clock is ticking. Are you ready to have kids within the next year or two? Because if she wants kids, she’s probably ready. Sit her down and discuss.
Guy losing the spark: leave. If you were in your late 20’s and had been with other women, I’d say otherwise, but you’re young and you’ve never been with anyone else. It’s my firm belief that most people should be with multiple people (dating, one night stands, etc.) before settling down in order to get that out of their system because this comes out regardless – whether it’s when you’re playing the dating game with no holdbacks in your early-mid 20’s, or later on in life when you’re married with 2 kids, except then the repercussions are much uglier.
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My therapist has a PhD in Psychology from Columbia and the thing that drew me in to her the most, besides her demeanor, was that during our first session she was able to explain to precisely and anatomically how memories work and how they are tied to emotions, how PTSD fucks up the standard memory/emotion process and how anxiety is the result of abnormal GABA neurotransmitter activity. Of course take my opinion on face value as I’m a CPA and not a scientist or a therapist, but knowing the underlying chemistry behind my problems made them more “real” rather than just going to someone to talk them out.
If your therapist takes your health insurance, then they do cover it. How they cover it depends on the type of health insurance plan you have (ex – if you have a $2,000 deductible and your therapist charges $200 an hour, your first ten hours won’t be covered unless you’ve made progress to that deductible from other medical expenses.) If they don’t, chances are your health insurance has some sort of out-of-network plan where you can get at least part of it paid. My therapist doesn’t take my insurance, but I have pretty good out-of-network coverage so about 65% of my cost is covered. I would consult your HR/Benefits dept at work and ask.
If you think your problems are big enough to qualify for therapy, then they probably are. Google around, different therapists specialize in different areas. Mine’s specialty is PTSD, anxiety emotional trauma, which she treats via EMDR. When I was initially looking for a therapist, I was looking for someone with that kind of expertise. I would also look at their credentials. If possible, find one with a PhD (so that they understand the physiology and chemistry of your issues) and not just an MSFT.
Finally, if your very new boyfriend would thinks that you’re crazy for treating your mental health, fuck your very new boyfriend.
This is incredible and I’m so happy for you. I hope that this piece serves as the final push PGP readers who are considering therapy, but need that final push. Mental health is just as important as physical health and in many cases, like with depression, it’s just as physical. Just because you can see a cast covering a broken bone, but can’t see the faulty neurotransmitter activity in one’s brain causing negative thoughts and emotions, that doesn’t mean that the former is real but the latter isn’t. Both are real and serious medical issues that can and should be fixed.
Don’t: forget that the boyfriends of your girlfriend’s friends are friends with your girlfriend first and you second. If you two ever break up, chances are those friendships will end.
@Todd
Agreed. Unless you’re a disgruntled employee, why would management think that you’re going to sabotage anything?
Maybe she’d feel differently about the bow tie if you used better euphemisms than “pecker” to refer to your baby cannon.
Next time, instead of having her tell you what to get, try to figure it out on your own, especially if it’s something she wants, but hasn’t thought to get it herself. It’ll get you so much more brownie points and will honestly probably be cheaper than dropping $200+ on a bag.
Case in point: this year, I got my girlfriend a bunch of different things, but her favorite is the $15 Kate Spade (RIP) travel coffee mug I got her. Why? She loves Kate Spade and a few weeks before her birthday, she lost her old travel coffee mug but never got around to getting a new one. Now she uses it every day and loves it. Brownie points for me because getting this shows that I listen (most of the time) when she talks about wanting/liking/needing something.
Trash move by the owner. Good thing you’re out of there.
can’t post about it*
But if you can’t about it on social media, what’s the point of going apple picking or to pumpkin patches or to nice restaurants or to the beach or on vacation or working out or even getting married?
The trash talking is mainly because of the perception that Android phones suck because of the lack of data-driven messaging between the two platforms (there’s no iMessage equivalent for Android so unless you use a third party app like WhatsApp, which the rest of the world uses, you’re limited to SMS and MMS) and the prevalence of cheap and shitty Android phones. The data-driven messaging issue will go away with the implementation of RCS over the next few years and the marketing of the high-end Android phones revving up (Samsung, Pixel, etc.).
I switched back to Apple because even though the camera on my Pixel 2 was godly, and honestly it was the best phone I’ve ever used, the majority of my social network uses iMessage and not WhatsApp so I got tired of sending/receiving overly compressed videos/pictures (because fuck MMS) that looked like they were shot on a Nokia phone from 2005.
It wasn’t the same though. You’d still see all of the notifications, just sorted by app. Now, going off the WWDC screenshots, you’ll just have one notification under an app and it’ll tell you how many notifications you have (so if you have 4 unread texts, it’ll say “4 messages” under iMessages). Sounds small, but it makes a big difference for work flow.
This is what you get for dating guys possibly named William instead of Brad.
Use private/incognito mode like the rest of us.
The thing I’m most excited about is grouped rich notifications. Since switching back to Apple from Android a few months back, it’s been the one thing I miss. Apple users who have never used Android don’t know what they’re missing or how amazing they are. Seriously contemplating installing the iOS 12 beta just for that.
Of course, I was being facetious. I’m well aware that we are the largest oil producer in the world and we didn’t actually invade countries for their oil.
There’s less gas stations there because fewer people drive since the public transportation is so amazing. The Paris metro is unreal. Also, gas there is insanely expensive because European countries didn’t go spread democracy in order to get lower gas prices like we did.
I hope you ate all the cheese you could while in Paris. It’s been a month since I got back and I still dream about how amazing the cheese there is.
He’s young and he’s marrying someone with more red flags than a Chinese military parade less than a year after meeting her. There have been previous signs that all hope is lost for him.
Did you guys pay for the security detail required to safely escort him out afterwards?
Girl with the boyfriend going to Vegas: totally agree with what Dillon said. Don’t make him pay for the sins of your ex, especially if he’s never given you any indicators of that kind of behavior. If anything, you getting jealous and overbearing has the potential to come out as a negative between you two. I would sit him down and explain the situation to him. He then should reassure you that he’s not that kind of guy, won’t do what your ex did, etc. and you two should be good to go.
Guy dating the woman 7 years older than him: if she wants kids, her clock is ticking. Are you ready to have kids within the next year or two? Because if she wants kids, she’s probably ready. Sit her down and discuss.
Guy losing the spark: leave. If you were in your late 20’s and had been with other women, I’d say otherwise, but you’re young and you’ve never been with anyone else. It’s my firm belief that most people should be with multiple people (dating, one night stands, etc.) before settling down in order to get that out of their system because this comes out regardless – whether it’s when you’re playing the dating game with no holdbacks in your early-mid 20’s, or later on in life when you’re married with 2 kids, except then the repercussions are much uglier.