Didn’t leave your stateroom? I’m all about the do nothing lifestyle but if you’re on a cruise and don’t join the conga line at the poolside dance party at least one night of the week, you’re wrong. Nothing like prancing around with a bunch of drunk geriatrics who haven’t had that much alcohol in them since the late 80s.
Sometimes when I’m feeling down I’ll take the day off and hire about 12 prostitutes. Not for sex or anything. I make them wear professional clothing and run around my house answering fake phone calls and rushing up to me delivering important messages or going over my meeting schedule with me. It’s fun to feel important.
I love to see the face of disappointment as someone tries to recreate something from Pinterest and it just ends up looking like a Parkinson’s sufferer’s “craft therapy” project.
This is what (internet) friends are for. Hollywood and the liberal media would like me to believe wedding night sex will be heaven on earth. Those sick bastards.
Advertise
Do you know any good online retailers that I could get some new loafers and maybe a new fleece pullover from?
Not being able to afford these prizes. PGP.
Move to a place known for bad dental hygiene and a sewer river running through it? No thanks.
Didn’t leave your stateroom? I’m all about the do nothing lifestyle but if you’re on a cruise and don’t join the conga line at the poolside dance party at least one night of the week, you’re wrong. Nothing like prancing around with a bunch of drunk geriatrics who haven’t had that much alcohol in them since the late 80s.
Sometimes when I’m feeling down I’ll take the day off and hire about 12 prostitutes. Not for sex or anything. I make them wear professional clothing and run around my house answering fake phone calls and rushing up to me delivering important messages or going over my meeting schedule with me. It’s fun to feel important.
I love to see the face of disappointment as someone tries to recreate something from Pinterest and it just ends up looking like a Parkinson’s sufferer’s “craft therapy” project.
This is what (internet) friends are for. Hollywood and the liberal media would like me to believe wedding night sex will be heaven on earth. Those sick bastards.
In my defense my married friend said the sex was next level, I just jumped the gun a little. Wedding night seems like the next best time to try again.
Mistake. Should have enjoyed it.
I tried to sneak just a finger in on the fiancée about two weeks ago, I haven’t seen her in less than a sweater and sweatpants since then.
5 figures and she might not talk shit about the ring behind your back. I almost passed out the first time I went to look at diamonds.
This explains everything…
I fell asleep during the rain delay. PGP.
Probably because you don’t respect El Tiempo margaritas
Wait, are you a golf pro?
Scarves are never optional in Texas
Will, I respect you and I’m sure you’re a great guy but, your opinion on the margs is wrong.
I don’t know why a Houston PGP event hasn’t happen….it should
If crushing margs and fajitas then walking next door to a shake junt is the plan, we’re in.
Next door as in the bar or strip club? If you’re taking your lady to a titter after a dinner date, that’s next level and I respect it.
Richmond and Buffalo Speedway