“You were such a loyal supporter of the fraternity as an undergrad, would you consider making a recurring donation now that you’re an alumni?”

I don’t go to happy hour with my coworkers for fear of getting drunk and telling them how much I hate them

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

“When I was your age, I was just like you.” PGP.

Almost forgot I had to work today. PGP.

I’m hungover and sunburnt. PGP.

Back to the grind.

Get me the fuck out of here. PGP.

I’m not even pretending to work today. PGP.

This post is the most productive thing I’ve done all day. PGP