United Flight Attendant Fulfills All Of Our Dreams, Exits Work Via The Emergency Slide

United Flight Attendant Fulfills All Of Our Dreams, Exits Work Via The Emergency Slide

As someone who flies pretty often for work, I spend a lot of time observing the flight attendants and thinking “there’s not enough money in the world to make me do that job.”

Think about it. When a coworker or a client pisses us off at work, most of us have the option of walking away or not picking up the phone the next time it rings. But if you are a flight attendant, you are trapped in a tin can 36,000 feet in the air. There’s no getting away from the jerks. Whether it’s the idiot in first who takes advantage of the unlimited booze to the point that he thinks it’s ok to play grab-ass as you go by, the family of seventeen who didn’t buy their seats together but yet thinks everyone should move for them, or the jerk that blatantly ignores the seatbelt sign, the friendly skies are undoubtedly filled with a bunch of shitty people. And the flight attendants are expected to deal with them all, smile in place. It’s enough to make any sane person totally lose it.

Well, one flight attendant finally had enough on Monday. As United Airlines flight 1246 from Sacramento pulled up to its gate at Houston’s Bush Intercontinental Airport, passengers were instructed to stay seated, as that a man at the rear of the plane was having issues breathing and a wheelchair was being brought in to deplane him first. The unnamed flight attendant, my guess having had it up to HERE with people demanding extra free pretzels while complaining about being subjected to Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Road Chip on the overhead screens, did what we’ve all dreamed of doing after a bad day at work. She opened the plane’s front door, deployed the emergency slide, and glided to freedom.

Of course, the tightasses at United issued a statement about safety and blah blah:

“We hold all of our employees to the highest standard. The unsafe behavior is unacceptable and does not represent the more than 20,000 flight attendants who ensure the safety of our customers. United is reviewing the matter and they have removed the employee from her flying duties.”

Really, United? Let’s not punish this brave flight attendant. She only did what we’ve all wanted to do a time or two, when a coworker or a customer has been a complete douche. It’s not like she tampered with, disabled or destroyed the smoke detector in the airplane lavatory. I mean, I hear that’s when the real trouble starts, right?

[via Cosmopolitian]

Image via Twitter

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at

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