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Some happy hour discussion topics for you.
- Most likely to be late to a meeting and make everyone look good.
- Most likely to be early to a meeting and make everyone look bad.
- Best use of low income to look like he/she makes high income.
- Best ability to wear completely inappropriate office garb but somehow make it look acceptable.
- Most likely to not use headphones and subject coworkers to terrible music they consider cool.
- Most likely to S an important D to move up the chain.
- Most important D.
- Most likely to awkwardly chat you up in the bathroom, disabling your ability to drop the kids off in peace.
- Embarrassingly unqualified manager in highest management position.
- Office creep who doesn’t see the error of his/her ways.
- Most inept coworker when it comes to finding the answers to any of his/her questions before just asking you.
- Most likely to come back after being fired and burn the building down/shoot up the joint.
- Almost definitely the person who’s been mooching off your Half&Half.
- Most likely to one-up your weekend stories come Monday.
- Most likely to leave you dry-heaving the rest of the day from the lingering smell of their heat-up lunch.
- Most likely to take a two and a half hour lunch break that no one questions, which makes you irate.
- The Office Jerry/Gary/Larry, i.e. the Office Punching Bag.
- Most likely to leave his/her spouse and ruin his/her life for an unrequited, intense office crush.
- Most passive-aggressive manager to employee relationship.
- Most likely to prematurely lose his/her shit before checking the email that would’ve saved those emotions in the first place.
- Most likely to kick you out of a meeting room because they had it booked first.
- Most likely to use work hours to catch up on GoT or Breaking Bad at his/her desk.
- Most impressive tabbing skills to speedily close out of non-work related Internets.
- Biggest amount of side projects that he/she works on during office hours more than actual office work.
- Perpetual office crop-duster.
- Biggest loud-mouth who overuses and completely ruins the umph of using the word “Fuck.”
- Biggest Dick (figuratively, not literally).
Respond
Emma G
Emma is a female with a vagina and, subsequently, often writes things other vaginas (and sometimes weiners) find super relatable. She is a 20something who loves eating, buying clothes she doesn't need, and wearing lipstick. You can find 4+ years of her rantings on her blog: www.emmasthing.com
@emmasthing
@emmasthing
Are there females without vaginas?
they’re called pointless
I know I’m old and confused and grumpy but does PGP push quantity of material over quality? This is absolute shit.