Uber Will Now Charge You For Losing Your Stuff When You’re Hammered

Uber Will Now Charge You Losing Your Stuff When You're Hammered

Consider yourself warned. Uber is going to start charging you to return lost property. And I know you need to know this, because you’re irresponsible and leave your shit everywhere and anywhere when you’re half in the bag and taking an Uber 0.9 miles up the street because you are physically incapable of walking on the sidewalk in a straight line.

Per The Telegraph:

Uber plans to charge riders for their forgotten smartphones and bags, introducing a lost item fee to compensate drivers who return lost property.

The $15 (£12) fee has been added to the ride-hailing service in some US cities to reward drivers who return items that have been left behind by passengers.

The lost item return fee will initially affect customers in Boston and Chicago, but could soon be added more widely.

The update is the latest in a number of recent changes Uber has made to its policies as part of its “180 Days of Change”, a project to improve the experience of its thousands of self-employed drivers.

So, to all my homies back in Boston and my amigos de Chicago, head on a swivel. You leave your phone and bingo bango bongo, you’re in the hole fifteen bingo dingos just for getting it back. And I have to say, I think you’re getting of scot-free.

At the moment, what’s a driver’s incentive for bringing back a lost phone, or a lost wallet, or a lost ID, or a lost vibrator. I mean, you’ve already hit them with that 5-star rating, they’re halfway across the city by now, and how are you going to get in touch with Uber to complain? You can’t because they have your phone. There’s nothing stopping this Uber driver from taking your phone, wiping it clean of all your noodz, and then doing literally whatever they want with it, because that shit is theirs now. Possession is, what, nine tenths of the law? (Sidebar – it’s unclear what the other tenth of the law is, but all legal advice should be funneled through Dave and/or the Texas Law Hawk)

So by giving these drivers a reason to bring your shit back, ($15 is fifteen slices of $1 pizza, that’s nothing to scoff at), I think the ones coming out ahead here is YOU, the irresponsible drunk rider who can’t keep their shit in their pockets for five fucking minutes. Now when you think you left your stuff in an Uber, you can rest assured knowing that it’s going to get brought back to you. Having said that, I have NO idea how they’re supposed to get in touch with you considering they have your phone. But that’s all semantics.

[via The Telegraph]

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Boston Max

Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly

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