Tinder Is Probably Adding A Snapchat Stories-Type Feature That Will Turn Into An Absolute Shitshow

Tinder Is Probably Adding A Snapchat Stories-Type Feature That Will Turn Into An Absolute Shitshow

If you think waking up after a bender and checking your Snapchat to see if you storied anything embarrassing is bad, things are about to get a lot worse.

Tinder, the dating app that reeks of bots and desperation, just acquired Wheel – a company that specializes in “video-based stories” (aka Snapchat). Tinder’s plan is to take Wheel and incorporate it into their current set of features, which will lead to nothing but embarrassment and getting un-matched when you think it’s a good idea to attempt to lure your suitors in with you “crushing” a dance floor at 1 a.m. with cran-vodka spilled all over your shirt.

Everyone knows that Tinder is so 2015 and Bumble is the new heat, so it makes sense that Tinder will pivot in strategy in an effort to not be known as the app where you have two make two decisions – 1) Could this person possibly be the love of my life? 2) Is this person a sex-bot trying to steal my identity? Now, with some newly added live video features, you can ruin both of those possibilities with one awful selfie video where you scare everyone away.

I can see it now. You match with someone who you’re all like, “Man, I could get to know this person.” Then you have a couple happy hour drinks. Nothing major, just some discounted liquor drinks in plastic cups. One thing turns into another and all of the sudden you find yourself huddled around your phone trying to think of what to send before the clock strikes midnight. You get the excitement of pressing send and thinking to yourself, “Alright, let’s let loose.” Shots. More drinks. No response. “I know, I’ll post a video to my Tinder story to show him/her how much fun I’m having without them and they’ll want to come out with me!”

Fade to black.

Wake up the next morning and boom – “Wait, where’d they go?” Dammit, crushed by Tinder’s new video feature yet again.

Tinder’s head of product said, “We are always exploring new ways to innovate while helping our users make connections on Tinder,” which essentially just means, “We really had no choice but to drop millions of dollars on this random start-up in an attempt to be relevant again.” While they didn’t disclose the terms of the agreement with Wheel, you know paper is currently being stacked by the two founders who will now join Tinder in various roles.

[via Variety]

Image via Shutterstock

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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