Throwing Up Under A Bridge And Other Ways I’ve Deterred Myself From Success This Week

Throwing Up Under A Bridge And Other Ways I've Deterred Myself From Success This Week

I’m not going to lie to you, it’s been a slow week. I rolled into week two of working odd hours trying to find a silver lining, thinking that this would give me more time to go to the gym, more time to sleep in, and maybe even more time to go grocery shopping and eat healthy. Aside from that last part, it really has.

But with that being said, one of the unforeseen downsides to this temporary (thank the lord) change in scheduling is that the only people I see for the majority of my day are my coworkers. Nothing against them, but spending such a long time away from your friends can drive you stir crazy.

We all deal with being stir crazy in different ways. Here’s how I handled mine.

I went on a two day bender and threw up under a bridge.

On Sunday, at the tail end of handling my St. Patrick’s Day hangover, I was asked to come to Emo Night. In any other circumstance, I would not have gone. I was incredibly dehydrated and desperately needed sleep. But in this case, I was wooed by the fact that my friend was entertaining a client and was putting everything on their corporate card.

Free drinks? Emo music? Business? Count me in. I lost track of how much I drank, but I think we ended up racking up a $150 bar tab, which is impressive considering Old Styles were only $1.

The night ended with my Uber driver speeding away from me after he let me out to puke under the Kennedy Expressway. I walked the last ¾ mile home. I am trash.

I started power ranking the Top 15 Disney Movies.

No DCOMs, ranked by notoriety and timelessness. Here’s my preliminary top-five:

1. Toy Story
2. The Emperor’s New Groove
3. Hercules
4. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
5. The Incredibles

@ me so we can discuss.

I became my office’s foremost authority on food.

At this point, we should all know that if you’re only taking the top half of a bagel and putting the other half back in the bag, you’re trash. There’s nothing that will sway my opinion. However, the argument that I had with Stephanie and John in the break room the other day caught fire through the office. Suddenly, I had more and more people asking my opinions on other aspects of food. Is ramen a soup? How do you feel about pineapple on pizza? What’s up with coleslaw?

I don’t know how much longer this will last, but here’s hoping I’ll be on top for a while.

I started a meeting by blasting “Renegade” by Styx.

One of the core values of my company is allowing people to build something out of nothing. If you see an issue, you should own it, find a way to fix it, and build it out along the way.

As for me? I saw a serious lack of giddy-up in our Wednesday morale. I’m building out Wild West Wednesday, and it’s slowly starting to catch on. Yesterday, I saw significantly more flannel and cowboy boots than I have in a while, and this baby is only in its infancy. What better way to skyrocket it into its adolescent years than by starting a meeting about your project updates by turning on Renegade and slinging a cowboy hat over your head?

I started planning my next solo trip.

Over the weekend, I decided that I would reward myself for working this weird ass schedule by planning a trip by myself to another part of the country. I had such a great time in Phoenix, I want to give it a shot elsewhere. I’m really doubling down on this “solo travel” thing for the rest of 2017. Right now, I’m looking at Boston, Washington, D.C., and possibly Seattle. I have a few others in mind, but I can’t overwhelm myself. Once I get into planning mode, I can’t stop, and the next thing I know I’m trying to lead a training at work and accidentally pull up a list of breweries from Denver.

Like I said, it’s been a slow week. Mostly just grinding through until the end of Q1. Here’s to next week.

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Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at or whatever.

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