This Year’s Oscars Gift Bags Include A Bunch Of Pointless Things You’d Never Want

This Year's Oscars Gift Bags Include A Bunch Of Pointless Things You'd Never Want

Remember in that episode of The Sopranos where Chris Moltisanti goes to LA and spends more time raiding the “luxury lounge” for a bunch of gifts given to the award show presenters than he does focusing on the business at hand in Los Angeles? Yeah, well, this year he’d be getting a slew of random shit that he probably wouldn’t even use.

Per Metro UK, the nominated actors, actresses, and directors in the main categories will be taking down over $200,000 worth of absurd gifts.

A 10-day, first-class trip to Israel ($55,000)
A year’s worth of unlimited Audi car rentals from Silvercar ($45,000)
A 15-day walking tour of Japan ($45,000)
3 private training sessions with ‘celebrity wellness expert’ and star of ABC’s My Diet Is Better Than Yours, Jay Cardiello ($1,400)
Ultherapy—a laser skin-tightening procedure courtesy of 740 Park MD ($5,530)
A Lifetime supply of skin creams from Lizora ($31,200)
A Fit Club TV ‘Ultimate Fitness Package’ in a private villa ($6,250)
A Haze Dual V3 Vaporizer ($249.99)
An Arouser sex toy, which offers gentle suction and simulation ($200)
A ‘vampire’ breast lift which uses ‘blood derived growth factors’ to enhance breasts without implants ($1,900)

I wouldn’t want to sound ungrateful, but I wouldn’t even use half this stuff despite the fact that its face value is about 100 times my bank account. Who has 25 days to spend in Israel or walking Japan? What am I supposed to do with a wellness expert? A lifetime of skin creams? A skin-tightening procedure?

I know Leo recently started vaping, so at least he won’t be getting totally screwed considering he won’t be able to collect on the breast lift, sex toy, and lifetime supply of lotions. I’m pretty sure he’d rather have a Best Actor Award though, but if I were him, I wouldn’t get my heart set on it considering his past.

[via Metro UK]

Image via Andrea Raffin /

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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