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The reason most millennials like brunch isn’t even because of the food. It’s because of the vibes. They’re not looking for full stomachs. They’re looking for Snapchats, Instagrams, and bottomless alcohol to pair with orange and grapefruit juice. They want an outdoor patio situation where they can catch some rays, sweat out their demons, and shampoo in some bottom-shelf champagne before taking a nap while Netflix plays on their television before going out that night and doing it all again the next day.
But if you’re looking for that type of #vibe in Washington DC, I’ve found the perfect place for you to avoid. And that spot is called Dirty Habit. It’s apparently going for a Gotham City-esque vibe, which isn’t normally something you’re striving for considering that city is always in peril.
Opening this fall, a press release describes the upcoming place as “gritty,” with a “stylishly dark attitude and edgy apocalyptic vibe” (keep in mind this is the Kimpton version of “gritty” and “apocalyptic,” of course). There will be a large atrium and patio, so fans of Poste’s destination outdoor space should be reassured on that front. Designers Dawson Design Associates are going for a noir and Gotham-inspired look “designed to make you feel pleasantly uncomfortable.”
Oh, man, just what I want when I’ve got the frights – a place that will make me feel wildly uncomfortable. The Sunday before having to go back to work already feels apocalyptic enough as it is, and in a place as post-grad-centric as DC, I can’t imagine that feeling is much different.
I’ll take succulents, marble, al fresco, lush, outdoor dining any day of the week over Dirty Habit’s The Night Of-style dining experience. But hey, who am I to judge? It’s not like I’m the expert on Sunday Scaries or anything. .
Image via Shutterstock