This “Ultimate Wedding Playlist” Just Isn’t Up To Snuff

Wedding Playlist

In a different life, I could honestly see myself being a wedding DJ. When I’m at a party and nobody knows what they want to listen to, they pass me the aux cord. I have a preternatural instinct when it comes to knowing what the masses want to listen to. I understand that everyone has different opinions and preferences in music. Some people hate top 40 hitmakers like Pitbull and Flo Rida. I call those people idiots. But FiveThirtyEight recently comprised a playlist that they are claiming is the end all be all of wedding set lists.

They polled their readers and received 163 playlists with 9,281 unique songs. They took the top 20 most referenced of those songs and made the “ultimate playlist.” Of course, I’ve got some issues with it, and you can take a look at what they consider good wedding music over at FiveThirtyEight. Their Top 20 included “Hey Ya!,” “Uptown Funk,” “We Found Love,” “Shut Up And Dance,” and “Happy.” In my humble opinion, a wedding playlist should only have songs that are considered to be timeless classics. My ears start to bleed every time someone puts “Uptown Funk” on. If it wasn’t for “Happy,” the Pharell smash, I’d say that “Uptown Funk” is the most overplayed song of all time.

For my money, it doesn’t get any better than the classics. “Your Love (Taking Me Higher)” by Jackie Wilson is going to get asses (old and young) on the dance floor. “Anything” by Earth, Wind, and Fire is good by me, and if there isn’t some Ace of Base and at least one song by Van Morrison (“Brown Eyed Girl” or “Someone Like You” will both do), I’m going to be judging the DJ or live band very hard. I’ve compiled my own top 20 list on Spotify, and although I’ve undoubtedly left off some of your favorites, I think this is a fairly decent stab at it. If it wasn’t for Prince’s insane legal team barring any of his music from the world wide web, I’d also like to let everyone know that “Kiss” and “I Wanna Be Your Lover” would both be included. You can jam out to it here:

Tell me what I’m missing.

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Johnny D

fashion icon. @dudaronomy on twitter. e-mail:

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