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There’s a certain mystique about — and perpetuated by — Austin’s signature event, South By Southwest (aka SXSW). With all the emphasis on new technology, up and coming musicians, artists, and films, it portrays itself like it’s a festival that celebrates our society’s collective bright, shiny future. In a lot of ways, that’s what SXSW is. But in a lot more ways, SXSW is really just a ratchet shitshow populated mostly by drunk, out of town randoms who showed up simply to wander around, get fucked up, and try to spot a celebrity because they can’t get in to any of the living commercials events. Case in point, this video of a fight outside the bar Chupacabra — between some drunk assholes and the bouncers from both Chupacabra and the neighboring bar Peckerhead’s — on Austin’s famous Sixth Street.
This video is, in so many different ways, the essence of SXSW — not the least of which being that it was shot in beautiful high definition. Have you ever seen a better looking fight video? Only at SXSW would a dirty, drunken street brawl with bouncers be filmed professionally. It’s World Star meets Christopher Nolan.
I would be legitimately surprised if more than fifty percent of the people in that video were from Austin. Normally, downtown Austin is one of the safest downtowns in the country. At SXSW, not so much. It’s not like muggings or anything increase, but despite this city’s proclivity for hard drinking, it’s actually rare to see a fight here most of the year. During SXSW, however, it’s basically a nightly occurrence on 6th Street. I half expect to overhear someone saying, “I only came here to do two things, man: kick some ass, and hand out my mix tapes. Looks like I’m almost out of mix tapes.” (So, so many mix tapes at SXSW.)
Between the drunk, out of town idiots starting shit, randoms tripping balls — last year my friends came across a naked dude in the throes of a bad trip sitting spread eagle in the middle of Sixth and slapping his apparently huge dong against the brick street, and the women who are pushing their small kids around in strollers, at midnight, through all of this (these people are despicable and numerous), suffice it to say that there is a large element of SXSW that you do not hear about. It’s not all hot new apps and selfies with Wiz Khalifa.
That isn’t to say that SXSW isn’t incredible. It is. It’s corporate spring break, and if you’re connected or sleazy enough, you won’t pay for a drink for the entirety of it, because open bars are more plentiful than food trucks..
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Rob Fox
Rob Fox is a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move (as Bacon), Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. From St. Louis originally, he currently lives in Austin, Texas, and still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living. He is also prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house. Email: rob@grandex.co
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Is this what happened to Brian?
Is “ratchet” a thing now? I feel like people our age saying ratchet is like Mr. Rogers welcoming you to his neighborhizzle.
Sooooo that bar is probably getting sued? Head stomps are likely not proper protocol for a bouncer. Hell, they really haven’t been seen in MMA since the dissolution of PRIDE in 2007.
Yeah the guy definitely could. I actually sympathize with the bouncers though. They get attacked A LOT during those two to three weeks. Has to be totally infuriating.
Yeah. But those guys had zero training obviously. Zero even rudimentary skills in taking someone down and controlling them. And then there’s the one bouncer who got carried away like a baby from the hospital haha.
A random girl negotiating… every bar fights got one…
I think “mediating” is more appropriate. But yes, they do. Every single one.
As an Austin native, this description of ATX during South By is spot on. Almost as bad as the Relays.
I kind of think it’s worse than relays, because people come down here for SXSW expressly to get fucked up. They assume it’s a huge party.
There’s a chapter in Vice co-founder Gavin McInnes’ memoir where he talks about how for ten years he would go to SXSW and pretend to be retarded. He would do a bunch of coke then go around starting fights, eating people’s food, stealing drinks, and grabbing women’s asses, then make all his friends chase after him shouting “TIMMY! NO!” At this point people would feel so bad they started apologizing to him.
Very true, they also assume everything’s free bringing a whole other type of scumbag. Let’s just say the demographics between the inside of bars on 6th (where you have to pay for drinks) and the outside on the street are… different.
I almost wrote this but didn’t, that for how much of SXSW is about all the bright future stuff, including trying to give off a vibe of everyone is welcome, it’s in actuality very much a collection of haves and have nots, and incredibly exclusionary.
Not getting into a fight. RFM.
I think a lot of people misinterpret 6th street as the heart of SXSW. SXSW is so much more than the dirty… Hell I got $40 in Nike gift cards, countless open bars, and saw some awesome bands that I care nothing about all for the short fee of a couple of $10 uber rides. I will say I don’t care to step foot on the dirty during a regular Friday night so duck going there during SXSW or the relays for that matter.
Fighting the bouncers is never a good move
Keep Austin weird, amiright?
This video brings tears of joy to my eyes. America is amazing