This Hero Is Going Around Queens Vandalizing Poorly Parked Cars

No matter where you live, finding a parking spot can be an absolute horror show, but in New York City (or any city, really), I guarantee you that it’s a thousand times worse. Here in the Big Apple, I would rather drag my testicles through a mixture of hot coal and broken glass than parallel park my car. And to top it all off, we have alternate side parking rules that were designed by Satan himself and would probably confuse Albert Einstein.

It can be frustrating and horrible to find a good parking spot; just ask my girlfriend. We’ve had more fights over parking-related stress than just about anything else. And there’s always an asshole who parks badly and takes up two spots, which drives you nuts. But this Queens resident may have taken things a bit too far.

An unidentified individual in Glendale, Queens, NY has taken to spray-painting cars that are parked incorrectly, tagging the vehicles with rude messages like “Learn to park, s-bag” and “Hey shitbag, park right”. Clearly, this guy has a thing for bags filled with doody.

Residents are, obviously, pretty angry about all of this, saying that they know it’s hard to find spots in the neighborhood, but that doesn’t give you carte blanche to start spray-painting people’s cars.

“I know how hard it is to find spots in this neighborhood. So I would try to leave space if there was space,” a woman who owns one of the vandalized vehicles said. “So it’s like, very upsetting.”

“There was no way another car would have fit there,” a neighbor said of one of the allegedly poor parking jobs. “A smart car was even too big for it.” Too big for a smart car. But what about a smart driver?

Residents say they want the vandal caught and brought to justice, stating “Nobody has a right to touch your property.”

A surveillance camera at a nearby school captured an image that may have been the parking vigilante, walking by with spray paint.

I sure do hope they catch this guy soon, because if he moves into my neighborhood and sprays my car, well…I’d say I’m gonna kick his ass but in reality, I’ll probably just give up, watch TV, and keep driving around with spray paint on my car because I’m too poor to get it painted over. PGP.

[via CBS NY]

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