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I don’t care who you are or what kind of life you lead, you secretly want to be the subject of a Missed Connection on Craigslist. We’re all guilty of sneaking winks on the subway or intentionally smiling at attractive stranger’s at the super market in hopes of falling á la a modern day You’ve Got Mail story.
But these two. These two millennial gems from the Big Apple may have just set the matchmaking bar.
You: on a boat on the East River; Me: vomiting off the Triboro Bridge – w4m (TriBoro Bridge)
I am so, so sorry. I had been walking all day and I think I had heatstroke. The urge came over me so fast I barely had time to reach the bridge railing, let alone check out below for unsuspecting riverboat pilots, and by the time I saw you, it was too late.
I’m not sure if I actually scored a direct hit, but judging from the curses I heard as I fled the scene it must have been bad.
If this was you: I am so, so, so sorry. Please contact me and I’ll pay your dry cleaning bill/buy you a new sailor hat/hose down your boat.
Tell me the colour and type of your boat so I know it’s you.
Just try and tell me that these two won’t be telling this story for year’s to come at their engagement party, bridal shower, wedding reception, and every single baby shower their friends throw.
I mean, just think about it. This Scott Disick, sailor hat-wearing motherfucker was just taking a mid-summer’s night’s cruise on the East River when this damsel in distress yacked and hit the tiny speck of a boat in this massive river of unfound love. Move over Prince William and Kate Middleton. Move over. Ariel and Prince Eric? Nah. Kimye? Take a hike. There’s a new couple on the scene, and even though it may not have been love at first sight, I have full-confidence these two will pan out.
Never underestimate love, guys. It could be anywhere. .
[via Craigslist]
Image via Shutterstock
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
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will@grandex.co
This headline led me to believe the CL poster actually made the connection with the intended party. What the actual fuck, Will??
Did the Sunday Scaries fuck you all the way into Tuesday? Because your comma usage in this article is atrocious.
People in Kentucky use commas?
Of course, and when to use the oxford comma for effect as well, correct comma usage is of utmost importance when describing their family circles.
Correct:
Billy loved his sister and wife, Mary-Lou.
Incorrect:
Billy loved his sister, and wife, Mary-Lou.