This Couple Made Their Wedding Guests Walk In An Actual Parade For Their Wedding

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Paul Simon once asked the question, “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.” And in that same tone, I ask, “Where have you gone, traditional weddings?” Wherever you turn, there’s a wedding party chugging out of a handle of Fireball with a GoPro attached to it or a choreographed dance that will inevitably make the Internet hate them.

And now you can add “force their guests to walk in a parade” to the list.

Per The New York Times:

Although they are based in New York, Elizabeth Frumin and Blair Douglas, both 37, say they love New Orleans and its traditions. Which is why, when they planned their Sept. 4 wedding in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, the couple insisted on having their 300 guests travel on foot, in a second-line procession — something more typically associated with New Orleans funerals — complete with a brass band, from the ceremony at the new William Vale Hotel to their reception at the Brooklyn Bowl.

Ugh.

Now, in their defense, I will say this – it’s literally only a 59-foot walk from the hotel to Brooklyn Bowl, so The New York Times completely sensationalized the event as if they had The Music Man leading a 3-mile parade. But when the bride explained that they were, “with our people dancing in the streets, waving their monogrammed handkerchiefs with their little parasols and whooping it up,” it still kind of makes you hate the entire situation. They spent $2,000 alone on umbrellas for the event, so make of that what you will.

Man, I can’t wait to elope. .

[via New York Times]

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Will

Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.

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