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Paul Simon once asked the question, “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.” And in that same tone, I ask, “Where have you gone, traditional weddings?” Wherever you turn, there’s a wedding party chugging out of a handle of Fireball with a GoPro attached to it or a choreographed dance that will inevitably make the Internet hate them.
And now you can add “force their guests to walk in a parade” to the list.
Per The New York Times:
Although they are based in New York, Elizabeth Frumin and Blair Douglas, both 37, say they love New Orleans and its traditions. Which is why, when they planned their Sept. 4 wedding in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, the couple insisted on having their 300 guests travel on foot, in a second-line procession — something more typically associated with New Orleans funerals — complete with a brass band, from the ceremony at the new William Vale Hotel to their reception at the Brooklyn Bowl.
Ugh.
Now, in their defense, I will say this – it’s literally only a 59-foot walk from the hotel to Brooklyn Bowl, so The New York Times completely sensationalized the event as if they had The Music Man leading a 3-mile parade. But when the bride explained that they were, “with our people dancing in the streets, waving their monogrammed handkerchiefs with their little parasols and whooping it up,” it still kind of makes you hate the entire situation. They spent $2,000 alone on umbrellas for the event, so make of that what you will.
Man, I can’t wait to elope. .
[via New York Times]
Look, I’m not saying these Brooklynites did it correctly, but only people who’ve never been part of a second line will complain about it.
I was in a second line in New Orleans a couple years back and it was awesome. Couldn’t agree more.
Same. It was probably a once in a lifetime type thing, since I can’t think of anyone else I know who wants to get married in NOLA. A second line in the quarter is awesome.
I mean, parades are pretty baller when you really break them down and analyze the parts.
People do this all the time in New Orleans. Imagine a few hundred people, all clad in either black tuxedos or large gowns, waving napkins along the asphalt in 105-degree heat index with looks on their faces conveying sheer misery and dejection. The bride is all smiles as she leads the pack, but if she bothered to look behind her, she would see that everyone she knows and loves would like to murder her in that moment.
And they block fucking traffic
I’ve had to participate in a post-wedding ceremony New Orleans style parade…only we were in Cleveland.
I’d only do it, if a blue genie led the way.
A modern day Bataan Death March.