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Breakups are a catalyst of epic proportions. With a simple utterance of “it’s over,” you are quickly thrown head-over-heels into a ton of (unwanted) changes and adjustments. Removing a person from your life who had become a part of your daily routine can be really tough.
The problem with breakups is this: they seep over into every aspect of your life, as did the former relationship. Now, even the smallest things can be triggering. Wedding invites with beautiful calligraphy arriving in your mailbox don’t carry the same sense of excitement. Once upon a time, you and your significant other would high-five over another chance to get lit at an open bar together. But now, you sadly stick it to the fridge with a magnet and shop your friend’s Target registry, alone. Birthday reminders, anniversary dates, and other calendar alerts have to be deleted. Someone has to get removed from your iPhone Favorites list.
Even Netflix has become slightly tainted, in some ways. All of a sudden, you can’t even watch an episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt without thinking about those nights spend in with your ex, drinking Cabernet like water and wearing your ugliest sweatpants. No more live-texting Game of Thrones episodes. Now you have to force your friends to do these things, to act as your emotional crutch for the time-being. The upside of this is you can now watch any Netflix show at whatever pace you want. No more having to wait around for your significant other to “be in the mood” to watch the show you’ve been dying to catch up on for a week. Binge all the on-demand television your little heart desires.
Exercise has also taken on a different connotation. Exercising when you’re in a relationship usually falls by the wayside after you’ve effectively captured the heart of your lover. Want to know the signs of a new, happy couple? They get together and gain 10 pounds. Lots of nights spend cooking and drinking a bottle of wine a night really start to lay it on. But you’re happy, so you don’t really care. Why go to the gym when you can go to the liquor store? All the fun sex you’re having must be burning some calories, anyway.
Then all of a sudden you’re single, and those 10 lbs. you earned at the beginning of your relationship hung around even though they weren’t invited to stay. Exercise is now a requirement. It’s time to get back in the game, people. Get working on that revenge bod! Any hopes for abs this summer may be shot, but there’s always next year!
Grocery shopping is another place where some major changes happen. Grocery shopping in a relationship is fun. You’re dicking around at the store, trying all the samples, and using your thought-out list as a guide. You and your other half are cooking dinner together three nights a week, after all!
Now that I’m single, I’m pushing my cart around with headphones in, blaring the most depressing Randy Rogers Band songs available and avoiding all human contact. And shopping with a list? Forget it. We are doing this live. Two-for-one Ben and Jerry’s? That sounds good. Family-size box of Cap’n Crunch? Throw that in there, too. The pitiful look I get from the cashier at Publix lets me know that my choice of groceries truly give my relationship status away.
Breakups are pervasive. They’re a pain in the ass, and getting through one sucks. Relationships affect every single aspect of your life. When those relationships end, you have to figure out how to navigate through the rough times, yourself.
At the end of the day, you’ll survive it. Lean on those friends who don’t mind being the person on the receiving end of those “I just need to vent for a minute” texts. They’re the same friends who will probably stalk your ex’s social media for you if you ask nicely. Try and give yourself a break, and for the love of God, stop listening to those old Drake tracks..