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“Of course I know what his family ring looks like, Caroline,” she explained while walking down the street. The two looked almost identical – black leggings with chunky sweaters covered in Barbour coats. The temperature wasn’t low enough to even justify that sort of layering but, with it being so deep into fall, logic was thrown out the window.
“I wasn’t snooping for it,” she droned out, “But our apartment is only so big and Todd is was dumb enough to leave it in the pocket of a jacket he asked me to get drycleaned.”
Caroline burst out laughing. “Oh my GOD,” she shouted. “Sometimes I wonder about these boys. I can only imagine the panic attack he had when he realized that he didn’t know where it was.”
She looked down at her phone to see how close they were to the family jeweler she had found online – they were still a block away.
“That’s the thing,” she told Caroline. “I’m not even sure if it dawned on him that it was misplaced. I put it in a box in our closet where he keeps his social security card and passport.”
Caroline continued laughing at the alleged stupidity. “Well, maybe he needs more help than I originally thought.”
Looking to their right, they saw a small sign that read “GOING OUT OF BUSINESS.” Caroline wondered if it was the one only to be reassured that it was, in fact, the store they were walking to.
“Everything should be super inexpensive here since they’re going out of business,” she told her. “What time did you say you’re taking Todd tomorrow?”
“I sent him a calendar invite for noon,” she said while double-checking on her phone. “Yeah, noon.”
They cracked open the creaky door to reveal an older man standing in a full suit behind the display cases that lined the entirety of the interior. It completely matched the photos she had looked at online of it, outside of the abundance of discount signs signaling the fire sale that was occurring.
“Welcome,” he told the two girls who hesitantly looked into the cases. “Let me know if I can help you with anything.”
From his perspective, he could barely understand their whispers – partially because of his hearing and partially because they were trying not to converse with him. It wasn’t until he took a seat on a stool towards the back that they started to speak at a normal volume again.
Caroline was the first to chime in. “I mean, I can’t believe I’m asking this, but do you know what you want?”
“TBH,” she started, “I actually don’t even hate the ring his parents gave him. Like, yeah, it’s small and looks like it’s from the 40s, but it’s better than that hideous halo that Katie’s so obsessed with.”
Both of their eyes looked up toward the man to make sure they hadn’t offended him by talking down about a certain style of ring. Unaffected, he continued reading a book.
“As long as it’s, like, a simple band and any stone that’s not under 2 carats, mama will be happy.”
Pointing at a ring that seemed to at least somewhat fit the description, Caroline asked, “Sir, can my friend here try on this ring?”
Walking over to them, he gave them a “certainly” before asking for clarification on which one they were referring to.
“This one in the front right here,” Caroline pointed out. He took it out of the case and gently handed it over to Caroline. He began describing it only to be met with an “oh, we know,” from one of the girls.
Laughing to herself while holding the ring, Caroline asked, “Do you want me to get down on one knee?”
“OMG,” she grinned, “Stopppppppppp.”
She took the ring from Caroline’s clutches and felt a wave of emotions hit her all at once. Fearing repercussions, she hadn’t tried on the ring Todd had left in his jacket pocket. But now, she was standing there about to slide a three-stone ring with a micro pavé band over her freshly manicured fingers.
“Ughhhhhhhhhhh,” Caroline groaned as she looked at the ring resting on her hand. “I freaking love it.”
She began fake posing with it on her hand, holding her hand arm’s length away from her body and tilting her head back and forth trying to see if that particular style suited her. Caroline didn’t stop talking, but she was too entranced by the diamonds to even listen.
“…and honestly, you could size up to a diamond that has a few small inclusions…”
Her brain began to run thinking about not only the engagement but the thought of having this ring on her finger for the rest of her life.
“…since John obviously didn’t consult anyone, I told him he better be understanding when I want to size up in five years…”
She couldn’t tell if the nervousness she felt was from the idea of getting engaged, her guilt for not being in love with Todd’s family ring, or all of the above.
“…if Todd even tries to go for a tacky yellow or pink diamond, I’ll obvs point him in the direction of an emerald…”
With her arm still extended completely out in front of her, she finally began to tremble a bit. With a big breath in and an even bigger sigh out, she slid the ring off of her finger and placed it directly onto the velvet pad that the shop owner had placed in front of them on the case.
“What’s wrong?” Caroline finally asked. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t want to go to Kay or Jared or Tiffany.”
“Caroline,” she snapped back. “Can you please just, like, stop for one second?”
Looking completely offended, Caroline asked her if everything was alright. The silence she received in exchange for her question spoke volumes, only to finally be asked, “Can we leave?”
The second they walked out of the store, Caroline hounded her about whether or not everything was alright.
“I’m fine,” she told her shortly. “Everything’s fine.”
“Was it something I said?” Caroline asked coyly.
“No no, honestly, I probably shouldn’t have actually tried it on,” she assured her. “Or at least I should’ve taken a Xanax before I did.”
Caroline remained puzzled. “Are you having… second thoughts?”
“No, absolutely not,” she responded. “It’s just like, what if he doesn’t actually propose?”
Caroline’s eyes rolled so hard that she could almost feel her pupils smack the top of her head. “Girl, are you being serious right now? Like, are you. being. serious.”
She gave out a nervous laugh.
“Like,” Caroline continued, “You’re two months away from having a freaking blood diamond on your hand in Paris. I don’t even want to hear it.”
“Yeah,” she reluctantly accepted. “I mean, I guess you’re right.”
On her phone, Caroline began typing only to finally say, “I’ve got 45 minutes before I have to be back at work and there’s a poke bowl place right around the corner.”
“Ohhhhhhh, mama like.”
All the while, Caroline’s fingers kept typing. “Don’t forget, Todd. Tomorrow. Noon.” .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
defriewf
will@grandex.co
Trump just signed major executive order that has directed Will to give the PGP community a ‘Chronicles of Todd’ on Thursday where Todd skips his meeting with the very annoying Caroline just like Trump skipped the annual White House Correspondents’ dinner last spring. We will not be coerced into false action, people. The very annoying Caroline thinks her antics will help Girl’s engagement, when really she’s just trying to protect herself from the nuclear fallout. Reminds of lightweight Senator Bob Corker who helped President O give us the bad Iran Deal & couldn’t get elected Dog catcher in Tennessee. Liddle’ Bob Corker has set the U.S. way back as incompetent head of Foreign Relationship Committee and the entire World was laughing at us. Just Caroline is setting back Girl’s relationship with Todd – no one wants your help! No wonder he’s not seeking re-election…If Girl miraculously has wedding she should be weary to elect Caroline as Made of Honor – will likely do very BAD job. Her approval ratings on PGP are dropping faster than total flake Sen Jeff Flake. Only 18% in Arizona, but had the balls to say many Senators disapprove of Trump. Really? they just gave me a standing O! Stock market at record high – You’re welcome!
Your move DeFries.
I just got paid $6784 working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over $9k her first month. It feels so good making so much money SD when other people have to work for so much less. This is what I do… Onlinecareer10.com
They used to call me “Standing O” in highschool *Ruff Voice*
I’d like to submit my resume to be considered for the First Dog position.
2 carat ring. Then talking about sizing up in a few years. I usually forward these stories to my fiancé, but I won’t be forwarding this one!!
life changing move right there
wow, Madison. Sounds like you can definitely afford that two carat ring
I will never understand girls who don’t like family rings. It’s unique, has a story, and your future spouse (who you merge finances with) doesn’t have to take on the debt. Or maybe I’m just single AF and cynical. Either way, fuck Girl.
It’s all about the Instagram likes
It might just be that it doesn’t feel like “yours” since it also belonged to someone else. Idk also single AF here and haven’t even thought about what I’d want in an engagement ring.
That being said my mom’s ring was purchased for a few hundred dollars at an estate sale and it’s simple and elegant and I would love to have it someday.
A family ring is the way to go. You get to give her a part of your family to make hers and you save a bunch of money. It’s sentimental and practical.
I just got engaged with a family stone reset in a new setting. She totally loved it.
Unless the ring was completely not my style (not based on size at all but just your personal aesthetic) I would love a family ring. The history and what it means to the family is so important.
There were no family rings for us as an option, but my husband picked a simple white gold solitaire (that certainly isn’t 2 carats) so that hopefully it’s classic enough we can pass it along to our grandkids.
I can’t imagine asking him to upgrade it later though! How emasculating would that be?! (I also got a 50$ plain band from the PX as my wedding band though so maybe I’m not up on ring trends?
I know! My husband designed mine with the diamonds from a ring that my mother in law gave him and it just made it even more special. But Girl sucks and I’m pretty sure there are like five of her in my yoga class
My only hesitation with family rings is that if they get divorced its no longer in the family. My mother mentioned giving her engagement ring to my brother for who ever he wants to propose to and I quickly talked her out of it, because 1. I want it, but 2. she may not be in our family forever, and i wouldn’t want to see the ring get pawned.
Thought it was really weird when my sister got the family ring, she’s never proposing to anyone (and is single AF), how do you bring it up when the guy proposes and you say “nah I got my own”?
I personally think family heirlooms should stay in biological family, like I said they will always be family, and sometimes marriages end and you don’t get things back. I’d be honored to get my boyfriend’s grandmother’s ring, but if I was his sister I would be livid that someone who wasn’t her granddaughter got it.
Caroline is being a real asshole right now.
I meannn, the stage is perfectly set for a Chronicles of Todd tomorrow.
Will has the thousand yard stare of PGP.
I can’t wait until Todd has a Midnight in Paris moment (right up Will’s alley) and Girl gets no ring at all.
Todd decides to stay in Paris. Sends her on her way back to the states. Classic.
I used to like Caroline. When did she become awful like GIRL?
Shittyness is infectious. Good thing I’m pro vaccinations, unlike Producer Micah.
Did she really compare Tiffany to Jared and Kay?!
MY EXACT THOUGHT
Sup?
I’ve researched Tiffany engagement rings and the smallest one starts at at least 8-10k just for the stone.
***…just for the little blue box.***