Things Girls Do After Graduation: Real Estate License

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Things Girls Do After Graduation: Real Estate License

“Like, I do things, but I don’t really doooo things,” she explained to Todd from the kitchen moments before blending her smoothie.

Confused, Todd asked for further clarification beyond what she actually meant. His hangover from Friday night lingered while he watched SportsCenter on mute.

“I just… I don’t know,” she stuttered while pouring her smoothie into a glass. “Like, when I left my job, it was because I was sooooo busy in my personal life. But now things have changed.”

Todd instantly perked up with a piqued interest. He had wondered for months how she was spending her days. Her consideration for grad school had completely fizzled out, her attempts at blogs were now defunct, and there was no possible way her body could endure a fuller schedule using her ClassPass. Without attempting to sound too eager, he calmly asked, “Oh yeah?”

“You see,” she began while walking over to the couch and situating herself next to him only to get distracted. “Wait, ew, you smell like a bar, Todd.”

He clarified that when he drinks gin, it lingers on his breath. “Sorry, continue,” he told her.

“Like, I just feel like I have time to do more,” she continued.

He nodded approvingly.

“I’ve put some thought into it over the last week or so, and I’ve made a decision.”

He sat up a little straighter like a puppy seeing a treat.

“I think I’m going to get my real estate license.”

“Real estate license?” Todd wondered.

Outside of her mid-century modern Pinterest boards and affinity for the Instagram account, he had never taken her for someone who was interested in real estate. The look on his face had to have been one of confusion given her reaction to his reaction.

“What?” she asked.

“Oh, I just… I’ve just never heard you talk about having an interest in real estate or anything,” he responded, hoping to offer sufficient explanation for his befuddlement.

“It’s just like, I have such a huge network of friends that I feel like I could totally be an asset to the industry.”

He nodded along.

“I feel like my Instagram following has really been growing lately, I know like a million people through my sorority, Junior League, and old jobs,” she further explained. “And like, not to sound pretentious, but pretty much everyone I know is affluent or at least going to school for a job where they’ll end up making at least six figures.”

Todd had several questions, none of which were coming to mind due to his aforementioned hangover that seemed to amplify as the conversation continued on.

“And tbh, if that idiot Ally from my yoga class can be selling condos for $400,000 in addition to her class schedule, I can at least sell some townhouses for double that.”

Unfamiliar with what it actually took to get a real estate license, Todd hesitantly asked, “So, like, what do you have to do in order to get your real estate license?”

She paused and took a sip of her smoothie before reluctantly admitting, “Soooooo, I haven’t actually gotten that far yet. Like, I’ve had a great stretch of being funemployed for a while now but I just think it’s time to get serious about my life and take control. It’s 2017 – new year, new me, you know?”

Todd stood up to go to the kitchen and re-fill his ice water that he knew he’d end up chugging at the sink only to have to fill it up again. “You know, what?” he said. “I’m proud of you, I think that’s great.”

She perked up and followed him into the kitchen where he stood bent over the sink with his hair dropping in front of his face.

“But,” she said changing subjects, “Now onto more important things – is it completely crazy of me to hang and dry the bouquet I caught at Caroline’s wedding?”

Image via Shutterstock

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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