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She sat at the gate checking her Apple watch to make sure her boarding pass loaded correctly into her Passbook. Refusing to take off her Sunglasses as she waited, she put the watch closer and closer to her face ensuring she could see that she was at the correct gate by matching the flight number.
She had her usual flying outfit on – lululemon joggers, a perfectly wrinkled chambray shirt, and a pair of Nikes she had purchased but never actually worked out in. Unhappy with her seat assignment, she approached the desk to inquire about an upgrade.
“Excuse me,” she started before being cut off.
“One moment, ma’am,” she was told. “I’m trying to take care of this customer first.”
Appalled, she put her elbow on the desk of the kiosk and gave the airline employee a death stare with her sunglasses slouched down on her nose. At this point, she was confused by what made her more upset – the fact that she was just called “ma’am” or the fact that she was asked to wait.
Upon the airline employee giving her the attention she felt she deserved, she slowed down her speech to a pleasant pace while still somehow coming off as aggravated and frustrated.
“Hi,” she began. “How are you today?”
Her calmness worried the employee as it felt like she was going to snap at any given moment.
“I fly on this airline a lot, and I was just wondering if it was possible to receive an upgrade from Economy Plus to first class.”
The employee began fervently typing into the computer, but wasn’t actually checking to see if there was any availability in first class. If she had a dollar for every time a person requested an upgrade because they “fly on this airline a lot,” she’d be in Bermuda drinking Painkillers topped with 24-carat gold shavings as a garnish.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but it doesn’t look like there’s any availability for an upgrade on this flight.”
She scanned the gate and saw several empty seats.
“Is the flight full?” she asked.
The woman again began pretend-typing into her computer. After sixty seconds, she responded, “It does not appear that the flight is full, but unfortunately we still cannot offer an upgrade at this time.”
She again began to survey the gate. While she wanted to remark something using the word “peasants” in regards to who appeared to be on her flight, she feared that her abrasiveness towards the rest of the customers would rub the airline employee the wrong way even more.
“So first class is full?” she clarified.
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” she was told again, “But we cannot offer an upgrade at this time.”
“So first class isn’t full. I mean, if first class is full, you’d just TELL me that first class is full.”
The employee took a deep breath. Locking eyes with her, she gave a toothless smile and tilted her head slightly to the side. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there’s nothing I can do. Now if you’d take a seat, we’re going to begin boarding in just one moment.”
In the middle of the employee’s sentence, she decided to put her sunglasses back on and type in the passcode on her phone bringing up her boarding pass. There was an intentional 15-second delay between the employee’s apology and her eventual response.
“I’m just going to give you a little advice about customer service,” she said while putting her bag back on her shoulder. “The customer? They’re always right. And if you have room in first class, you should give those seats to people who belong in first class. In the future, I hope you treat your other customers with a little more respect than what you’ve treated me with. Rest assured, I will never be flying on this airline again.”
She slipped her phone into her purse and began walking away before turning around and saying one last thing.
“Oh, and please do not call me ‘ma’am’ ever again. I have at LEAST ten more years until that’s appropriate. Thank you.”
As she took her seat at the gate once again, she pulled her phone out of her bag and began texting.
“Todd, you will NEVER believe how I was just treated.” .
Image via Unsplash
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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I hope her plane crashes.
Todd would get so much sympathy ass…and probably Sperry.
The 100+ collateral lives would be worth it.
Someone has to die for allowing this behavior to persist. . .
I am making 99+ dollar /hour working from home. I never thought that it was legitimate but my best friend is earning 12dollar thousand a month by working online, that was really surprising for me, she recommended me to try it. just try it out on the following website… http://WWW.BuzzFeedReport.TK
Has anyone called her a cunt yet? I’ll take that leap if not.
No idea, but she needs a cunt punch.
Cunt punt
Go all Pat McAfee on her ass
TGDAG: Get Called a Cunt
Dollars to donuts she’s that person who refuses to check a 40 lb bag and tries to stuff it into the overhead for 5 minutes
Zero chance she’s doing the manual labor required to lift a bag above her head.
A couple flights ago, I saw a well-to-do man shove his oversized bag repeatedly into the bin until its wheels broke off and it fit. Made my day.
Oh yeah she’s definitely the girl who only checks her suitcases
“And if you have room in first class, you should give those seats to people who belong in first class”
Probably the most crystallized statement of her entitlement
You made me hate her more. Please have Todd dump her and bring back Todd chronicles, for all of us.
I hope for nothing more than the flight to be overbooked.
If I had a time machine, I’d have to flip a coin between killing Hitler and killing the person who coined the phrase “the customer is always right.”
Had someone drop this line on me the other day. Started responding with “well…” before my filter kicked in.
My favourite is how they tell you they’re going elsewhere. 1) the company’s almost always too big to give a shit about one crazy high maintaince person. 2) the employes really are thrilled to not talk to you again and 3) unless your dad owns the company it’s not like the people who have to hear “the customer is always right” get fucking bonus at the end of every quarter anyway. Bottom of the todem pole = ultimate PGP
I worked at Menards (big Midwestern hardware store chain, competitor to Home Depot) for three years. Any time shitty people didn’t get what they wanted, they loved to drop the line; “Well, I guess I’ll just have to go to Home Depot…” We would give them directions on how to get there with a hardy “Have a great day”. That would always piss them of even more and gave us great satisfaction.
no mention of her Lilly passport/boarding ticket holder?
I just felt my blood pressure spike…
Also, Todd needs to take this opportunity to get some strange.