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This morning something happened to me, something that has never happened before. A wave of raw emotion washed over my body in a way I can only describe as unimaginable. Everything I thought I knew evaporated in an instant, so much so that I felt I should — no, I felt — I must, recount the event in a rhyming couplet. The below is a poem about my morning commute and the extraordinary man that changed my outlook on life.
I am on the record saying I don’t meal prep
I don’t like leftovers, old pizza I will not schlep
Generally I am against bringing food to and fro
If it’s a day-old sausage it’s simply a no-go
So it will indeed shock both you and me
When I regale to you a hot man mystery
This AM I was on the metro minding my own b
When a sensual tingle came over me
I looked up from my computer and to my dismay
I was sexually attracted to a man I’ll call “bae”
“Ding Ding” when the doors as he stepped aboard
A nondescript businessman I would have normally ignored
But then I saw it in his left hand
The source of the tingle that activated my sweat gland
This item inexplicably made him a fox
Wrapped in bae’s hand was a fucking lunchbox
I looked first to his bicep, then all the way down
He stood there so confident, regal, and proud
What was in bae’s box? I needed to know
Could it be tuna on cracked sourdough?
His box was matte black and had a firm handle
How his fingers caressed it was cause for a scandal
I don’t know why I was so hot and bothered
Is there something about a man who has lunch conquered?
Maybe it’s preparation I find sexy?
Or his confidence in using a such a delicate accessory
Usually, I reserve a lunch pail for a child
But bae was a man and his box drove me wild!
I cannot explain this new found obsession
But I am only left with one final question
After work would you like to share a drink on the rocks?
Only, that is, if you bring your lunchbox. .
Respond
CallMeVictoria
Life is messy, let's get dirty. itwasvictoria@gmail.com
@callmevictoria
@itwasvictoria
Very interesting way to announce that ManOutfitters is going to be dropping some lunch boxes on us in the spring for 15% off using promo code “snack”.
CallMeConfusedButAmused
He’s probably married and his wife packed it for him.
Don’t ruin this for me!
I bring my own lunch daily, Sup?
I wonder how many women have thought this about me over the years? Hint: it rhymes with hero
I carry a lunchbox because I got tired of taking my lunch in grocery bags and I pack my lunch because I’m broke.
thanks for the glimmer of hope!
I retired my grocery bags after Christmas… Because I was too cheap to buy my own lunchbox.
This is why I want to get a briefcase
Wow, this is so good
You have quickly become my favorite PGP writer. You’re clever and witty af. If women are this amazing at writing for PGP why don’t we have more of them, just saying.
Brb going to amazon to order something