There’s Actually Going To Be A Catalina Wine Mixer

There's Actually Going To Be A Catalina Wine Mixer

I know, I know, after a three-day weekend of saying goodbye to summer by way of drinking endless beers, the last fucking thing you want to hear about is a wine mixer. But I promise, this is worth it.

It’s happening. Per Visit Catalina Island:

It’s the %$#&*@^ Catalina Wine Mixer!

Join us Sunday, September 13, 2015 for the 1st Annual Catalina Wine Mixer at Descanso Beach Club! Experience the classic event from Step Brothers, full of fun, live bands, DJs, gourmet food and fine wine on Catalina Island. You don’t want to miss this event. Mark your calendar!

In a move that’s directly from Step Brothers, Catalina Island is actually doing it: they’re throwing a fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.” And everyone knows that if you want to make bank, get ass, and drive a Range Rover, you gotta be at the Catalina Wine Mixer. Been in the dark for the past seven years? Fine, here:

Yes, The Dan Band from Old School and The Hangover is playing there. Yes, you get a souvenir wine glass. Yes, it’s sponsored by a helicopter company just like D-Man’s. And yes, it’s nine hours long starting at noon this Sunday. You thought you were struggling hard after this past weekend? Nah, I guarantee the animals that go to the actual Catalina Wine Mixer will have you beat. Are Will Ferrell and Adam Scott going to make an appearance? That’s up for debate, but you gotta think they at least consider.

For tickets, head over to Visit Catalina Island where they have a ton of different options from a normal peasant rate to “Presidential Cabanas.” Snag your boy one while you’re at it. I’ll Venmo you later.

I just have one question for all the people running Catalina Island: how did this not happen sooner?

[Per Visit Catalina Island]

Image via Visit Catalina Island

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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