There Are People Stealing Cheese In Wisconsin And I Want In

There Are People Stealing Cheese In Wisconsin And I Want In

I’m a little bit of a goodie-two-shoes. Just last week, I returned something that Amazon sent me by accident (and didn’t charge me for) and I called the bank to correct a $375 deposit into my account that wasn’t mine. Hell, one time I even went back to the movie theater once I discovered that the concession kid had given me an extra $20.00 in change. But if I ever was to convert to a life of crime, there is one thing that could probably drive me to it: my love of cheese. And apparently, there are already some thieves in Wisconsin that I could just hook up with.

Early Friday morning, burglars stole a cheese-filled trailer in Germantown, WI. And by filled, I’m not kidding: police report there was $70,000 worth of “cheese product” stolen in the heist. There is no word if we are talking about 35,000 two-dollar cans of fake Parmesan or a few tons of really good imported Brie. Not that it really matters – FREE CHEESE!

Alas, the cheese-loving heroes bandits didn’t get the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Although no arrests have been made, detectives from the Germantown Police Department located the stolen goods later Friday evening in Milwaukee.

Update: Monday January 25, 2016Friday evening, January 22nd GPD Detectives located the cheese products in the City of…

Posted by Germantown Police Department Wisconsin on Friday, January 22, 2016

Interestingly, this cheese caper is not the only one to hit Wisconsin recently. According to Mashable, “Almost $90,000 worth of Parmesan went missing from a facility in Marshfield, almost 200 miles northwest of Germantown” the week before.

While police have said that the cheese heists appear unrelated, you never know. We could be looking at a cheese-theft ring here. And if that’s the case, I implore the thieves to send me 3 pounds of imported Parmesan-Reggiano to turn themselves in. A life of crime isn’t worth it – even if it’s for the gift of the diary gods.

[via Mashable]

Image via Foodies Feed

Email this to a friend

Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at

6 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Content

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take PGP with you. Get

New Stories

Load More