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Your birthday is the most sacred day on your calendar every year. When you were younger, you could do anything you wanted–maybe you even felt like a D-list celebrity. Unfortunately, this is no longer the case once you enter the real world.
You Can’t Go Out
Unless you have a job where you can still get stuff done despite being exhausted and hungover, you’re most likely not going out on your birthday as an adult. You’re old and being out after 10:30 on a work night seems impossible. Gone are the days of rocking all night and partying every day.
Nobody Cares
Unlike your undergrad days when everyone celebrated your birthday, your coworkers really don’t care you were born. They have deadlines. They have real work, and they don’t care about the entry-level new guy’s birthday.
You Don’t Get Cake Unless You’re Important
Execs get cake. Managers get cake. Entry-level employees do not get cake. That’s just how it is–your coworkers aren’t going to buy you a cake when they don’t even know what you do for a living. If you can’t give them a raise or a promotion, it doesn’t matter to them. Also, your gratitude has as much value as a Zimbabwe dollar.
Gifts
The year you stop getting money in birthday cards always turns out to be the same year you need money more than ever. Your family may send you some much-appreciated birthday gifts, but your friends won’t buy you more than a shot at the bar. As we’ve covered, assuming you’ll get a gift from your coworkers is just delusional thinking.
You Still Have To Work
It’s your birthday? Cool. You’re still expected to work the full day just like any other day. You can’t just run around the office announcing it’s your birthday like a kid on Christmas. No, you’re going to sit your ass in that chair and type shit on your computer until at least 5 p.m.
If your work has a work environment where the things I listed never happen and birthdays are still cherished, you may send me an email with your company’s job openings.
Respond
@Trush21
@Trush21
Trush21
This is freaking depressing. Year 25 falls on a Wednesday this year. Hump day?
My birthday is today. I’m 23. I’m completely sober. The most exciting thing I did today was engage in a company webinar.
Happy birthday! Enjoy 23! I’d buy you a drink for your special day but I don’t know who you are. Hope it’s fun though!
I don’t want to rub it in, but I will… my company gives you the day off on your birthday…which you can also move to the following Friday or Monday for a 3 day weekend. They also start you with 5 weeks vacation. I’m guessing it has to do with it being a British company – they must need to compensate people there for the perpetually gloomy weather. . .
My birthday was on a Monday while my GF was out of town, truly depressing, but our office got me breakfast burritos and cupcakes. My manager is boss.
Airforce.com has job options 😀 I get public recognition and cake on my birthday every year… even though I’d rather not remember I’m another year older. After 25, its all downhill. (Disclaimer: I’m 26.)