======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
The high in New York City is 55 degrees today. I know what you’re thinking. You want to get out there tomorrow and mix it up. You want to toss on your Barbour and make your way to a bottomless brunch spot where you’ll inevitably get cut off by whatever hungover waitress is hating her life because she’s not doing the same. Sure, the weather isn’t ideal. But given how it’s been lately, 55 degrees might as well be 75 degrees.
I urge you — don’t do it. Stay the course. Listen to the angel on your shoulder. Distract yourself.
You’ve made it 12 days in. By weekend’s end, you’ll be at the halfway point of Sober January. Halfway to the promise land. Halfway to fitting into your clothes better. Halfway to mental solitude.
Last year, I broke on day 28. I wasn’t proud of it. A long day of sober golf followed by meeting two friends at a hotel bar for appetizers spun me into a whirlwind. I pretty much got whiplash from how hard I was rubbernecking the cocktails that flew by. There were dudes wearing black tie for a wedding reception in the same hotel. Jealousy got the best of me. Going to a hotel bar at the tail-end of Sober January is akin to putting an eightball in front of an addict. Hotel bars are top-two places to drink without regard. I got blinded.
It’s plagued me ever since. Why did I do it? Had I just not ordered that white ale and driven myself home on that Saturday night, I could’ve coasted to the finish line beating my chest in celebration. Instead, I found myself drinking stiff cocktails until late in the night only to wake up with a hangover that reminded me why I embarked on the journey in the first place.
Please, be better than me. Know you can do this. That make-your-own Bloody Mary bar has fixins that’ve been sitting out for hours. They’re probably riddled with E. coli too. The stein of beer you’re craving will just make you full and leave you in that weird day-drunk where you’re not sure if you want to take a nap or really ratchet it up for the rest of the night. That triple hops brewed Miller Lite in your fridge has been sitting there since mid-December before you went home for Christmas. It’s skunked. At least that’s what you need to tell yourself.
Now more than ever, it’s pivotal that you plan your weekend out. College football is over. Your NFL team probably fizzled out long ago or will lose this weekend. I ask you, “Is it worth it?” Sure, you justify it to yourself that a few beers during the Eagles game just makes sense, but please look at the bigger picture here. One domino falling is all it takes.
Some of you have probably already fallen off the horse. I get it. I’m no better than you are, especially given I snuck in a Guinness in a plastic cup last night while walking my dog. You made the conscious (albeit hungover) decision to do this to yourself after a big holiday season. December was a bender, remember that.
I ask this with extreme hesitation in my voice for fear of getting answers that I don’t want to hear — how’s it going, everyone? .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
defriewf
will@grandex.co
Don’t listen to Will. Start drinking.
He said it, not me.
I made it last Saturday, where the chiefs game forced me to get inappropriately drunk at 4 in afternoon in a dive bar. So it’s really the Chiefs fault, I’m not sober this January.
As an Eagles fan, I’ve watched that Andy Reid game before. Sorry for Chiefs fans
As a Chiefs fan, we all knew how the game was going to end by Halftime. Shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone.
Yeah, the Quaff tends to have that effect on people.
The Quaff? Ew..
It had been years since I’d been there, but that place is sweet.
Yeah I guess its sweet if you like risking getting shanked and contracting HIV. To each their own I suppose!
To be fair, I wandered in there around 2am on a Saturday night a few weeks ago for the first time in years. What I saw may not be the norm but if it is.. that place is rough.
Told myself I would try sober February cause it’s shorter than January… Booked an impromptu trip to Charleston for Presidents Day weekend, remembered the super bowl was 2/4, and gave up on that plan before it even started. There’s always 2019
*schedules sober month for the shortest month of the year*
*still can’t do it*
Nothing but respect, king.
Million degrees in NYC today. In the words of Smeltre, “I’m getting fucked up this weekend”
Don’t do it to yourse—
Actually, whatever. Too nice not to.
Surviving. Not thriving.
Sober January is the new “new year, new me/ I’m going to go to the gym” this year, and I am NOT here for it.
I’m being realistic about “sober January”, took the first week off entirely and now I’m modifying it to my terms. I’m not drinking when there’s no reason to. A couple beers after dinner on a Tuesday just because there’s some in the fridge? No thanks. Hosting trivia night on Wednesdays? Yeah, I’m gonna have a beer. Going out with friends tomorrow for the first time since November… well, I’ll see you all Sunday morning when I sober up and take another week off.
i had three glasses of wine with my boss on a work trip. seemed rude to say no… right?
Going strong, William. I’ll check back in next week once my friends are back from work trips and Mexican vacations.
They’re going to be tan and feeling themselves. Best not text to them until February 1st.
Noted.
In the middle of a SJ and my buddy told me he is moving next weekend. He’s having a going away party and I just don’t know how I could possibly stay sober.
Update- I blacked out.