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You haven’t worked since Wednesday. Or perhaps you’re one of the lucky ones that had all of last week off. Whatever the case I know one thing for certain – you’ve been drinking. We all have.
Alcohol is the only way to get through what is, at it’s core, anywhere from 2 to 7 days straight of small talk with people you don’t really care to see. I’m not saying you don’t love your parents but can we just be real for a second?
Family time can get a little stale after a while. That’s all I’m saying. For me Thanksgiving is a holiday that can get old rather quickly. Lots of time cooped up indoors at your parents house or a relatives living room with nowhere to go and nothing to talk about.
I’m not ashamed to admit that by about 6:00 p.m. this past Thursday I was ready for family time to be over. I don’t love Thanksgiving. I mean is it nice to spend some quality time with close relatives? Yes, absolutely.
High school friends, aunts, uncles, and cousins – you’re catching up with all of these people over the holiday, and while that can be fun in small doses, it starts to wear on you after a little bit. It’s the same conversations over and over and over.
Which is where the alcohol comes in. Other than Tuesday night, I have drank alcohol every single day since Monday. That’s not me trying to brag.
I know that might be frowned upon and I also know that at some point I am going to pay for this dearly. Right now I’m just riding out this bender and seeing how far the wave will take me.
I haven’t been hungover a single day that I’ve drank this past week because people don’t get hungover this week. It simply doesn’t happen and it’s for two reasons –
1. The alcohol never stops flowing. You go out Wednesday night and wake up and it’s Thanksgiving morning. There are mimosas, bloodies, hell – maybe you’re drinking red wine to start the holiday first thing in the morning.
In any case, there’s more alcohol, and so even if you do wake up and feel a little off, you just start drinking again and boom, you’re back to drunk. Then comes Friday, where you’re probably not working. What’s there to do other than drink? Bear the elements and physically go shopping?No thanks. I’d rather stay in my living room with a 1,000 piece puzzle, a bottle of red, and a Netflix show playing in the background.
2. Your brain and body are confused right now. You’ve been stuffing your fat face with turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy and all manner of sweets. You haven’t had to wake up and do anything other than eat and drink for the past three or four days. The hangover that you should have after binge drinking all week isn’t happening because your body has no idea what you’re doing. You’ve gone rogue.
Live it up today. Put some Bailey’s in the coffee you’ve got next to you. Do it now. Have a shower beer. Get drunk again today. Life is on pause this week, and the reality of the situation is that you’ve got work on Monday. Enjoy the last day of this holiday with more than a few pops. The hangover won’t come for you until Monday morning..
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jduda@grandex.co
Going to the Rangerd Caps game at 2pm. Naturally hitting a pub at noon before hand. Then continuing to ruin my body after with some more beers and college football. I’m legit addicted to greasy fatty food at this point- I’m looking forward to a pub burger more than anything tbh.
I enjoyed this!
At some point, the debt comes due and the hangover begins.
When one set of grandparents are recovered alcoholics and the other are religious teetotalers thanksgiving day drinking = secretly sneaking bourbon into your iced tea in the pantry when no one is looking.
lol
Surprised you didn’t run into your religious grandparents doing the same thing.