The Real Reasons He Didn’t Text You Back


It goes like this. You go on a great first date and you text each other after for a few days. You tell your friends how great he is, how he’s not like any of the other guys you’ve gone out with, and how he’s planning something next week. You text him again and then–crickets. Did he move? Did he fall off the planet? Did he join the Witness Protection Program? There’s no way to know.

You can make yourself feel like garbage because he disappeared or you can realize that he has done you a huge favor. Maybe he didn’t text back because he met someone else or he just wasn’t that into you. Or maybe he didn’t text you back because he was doing something horrifying.

  1. He was building displays for his fedora collection.
  2. He was watching a Nickelback live performance on YouTube.
  3. He was feeding his pet ferret.
  4. He was training for the CrossFit Games.
  5. He was singing a Creed song at karaoke night.
  6. He was blotting grease off a slice of pizza.
  7. He was ordering a burrito bowl instead of a burrito.
  8. He was deleting episodes of “NCIS” from his DVR.
  9. He was Facebook messaging a friend, despite having that friend’s phone number.
  10. He was compiling a 120-second Snapchat story.
  11. He was posting information about his workout on social media.
  12. He was buying Ed Hardy shirts on Amazon.
  13. He was merging in front of someone in traffic and not doing the courtesy wave.
  14. He was cleaning off his Crocs.
  15. He was bringing an acoustic guitar to a party.
  16. He was changing the radio station during a Garth Brooks song.
  17. He was telling someone that he’s not really a movie person.
  18. He was canceling his Netflix subscription.
  19. He was taking a mirror selfie.
  20. He was posting a “moment” on Tinder.

Women, consider yourself lucky.

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Brown rice. Black beans. Barbacoa. Both Salsas. Corn. Cheese. Guac. Lettuce.

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