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There isn’t a whole lot to get excited about during the workweek. Anything before Thursday is sort of just “meh” to me. You have to derive pleasure from the little things when there is no hope in sight.
After work you can masturbate, enjoy a tasty beer or glass of red while you’re waiting for your water to boil, or listen to a bit of Miles Davis to unwind (a personal favorite) – these are just a few examples of activities that can break the monotony of a routine week at work.
You’ve got to have something to look forward to; a goal to make the minutes tick by faster. During these dark periods of the week, I personally look forward to showering. And I’m not talking about showering in the morning.
I’m talking about after work – after you’ve been sitting in a chair for anywhere from eight to ten hours, blankly staring at a glowing screen and hoping like hell that your office enemy (the overweight slob who is slightly higher on the totem pole than you and feels like he can lord over you because of it) doesn’t decide he wants to talk to you about how there aren’t any peanut M&Ms left at the reception desk. Was that too specific of a reference? Is that just me that has that problem?
On days where I’m lucky enough to make it to the gym before work begins, I take a shower because I have to. The same goes for when I wake up with no time to do anything other than brush my teeth and rinse my body off. I take a shower in the morning out of necessity and it is not an enjoyable experience. I get to use my loofah, sure, but it isn’t at a leisurely pace. It’s a speed wash, and I like to get in and out because I’m a conscientious roommate that likes to leave some hot water in the tank for everyone in my apartment.
I wash my hair, but that early in the morning I’m too lazy to go the extra mile and use conditioner as well. Showering in the morning is like a second job. I do it because I have to, not because I want to. I simply cannot go to work without showering.
I know women who go days at a time without bathing because they are inherently better than men. They don’t sweat as much, and if they do, they do a very good job of not showing it. If I were to skip a day of showering, I would look and feel like a piece of shit. I sweat all of the time, including while I am asleep. It’s why I wash my sheets once a week and it’s why I make sure that I’m bathing twice a day.
A lot of you may call this second shower excessive. But the second shower of the day is a ritualistic experience for me. I let the mirror fog up before I hop in. I choose a playlist comprised of Enya, Sade, John Mayer, and James Taylor and then I immerse myself in hot water, high-end soaps, shampoos, and conditioners. Paul Mitchell, ever heard of him? My bathroom smells like an Equinox spa after I finish up with my evening shower.
I take my sweet ass time doing everything. If I wasn’t living in a glorified halfway house, I would probably take a bath instead of a shower. I get into the shower a shell of a man. I smell of stale office coffee and my skin is dry from sitting under fluorescent lighting. When I step out of the shower, I’m whole again.
It brings me back from the brink, and climbing into bed squeaky clean is a euphoric, damn near erotic feeling. The evening shower is what I cling to for sanity..
Image via Unsplash
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jduda@grandex.co
Why is that chick showering in a bathing suit? Weird move.
Have you ever been to a public pool?
No, you peasant.
As reasoning creatures, people can gain happiness by rigorous training and by living in a way which is natural for themselves, rejecting all conventional desires for wealth, power, sex, and private pools.
You have to have read a lot of Stoic philosophy to get this bit.
Everyone knows you only go waist deep in public pools, because pee.
huh. its the opposite for me for the same reason. how bout that
Stock photo definitely NSFW.
and a definite sup
Just opened the article as my (male) coworker was looking over my shoulder and he just said, “sup?”
All men are the same.
I am triggered by this sexist comment.
J/k, we really are all a bunch of horn dogs.
she just had a traumatic experience with a young man at the pool that ruined our reputation
The current Grandex WFH policy really showing with that choice
Morning rinse with a proper post workout evening shower is 100% the way to go. What am I gonna do, wake up EARLY to go to the gym like some sort of functional adult? Just going to the gym is hard enough as it is…
I refuse to get into bed without first taking a shower. No way i’m taking all the grime and pollutants i’ve picked up just by existing into my sanctuary. Second excellent take in 24 hours
“After work you can masturbate, enjoy a tasty beer or glass of red while you’re waiting for your water to boil, or listen to a bit of Miles Davis to unwind” Throw in some Frasier while going to sleep and you have my Monday-Thursday post-work typical routine.
Stock photo girl: would.
Absolutely solid mid-week take.
You’ve gotta wash off the bullshit from the week.
I can’t wait for summer so I can take an ice cold shower in the evening. It’s probably tacky but it feels amazing after getting out of the gym at night (pro tip: get to work as early as possible so you can bounce at 2 or 3 as the gyms are usually empty) and you kinda get to feel like a Viking.
Those are rookie numbers in this racquet