The Official Proprietary PGP Holiday Gift Guide

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Just like most everyone else, you probably aren’t done with your Christmas shopping. I mean, I’m done because I ain’t no scrub, but I digress. You need to kill it under the tree this year, and since you’re in crunch time we’ve got the clothing gift guide to make sure this Christmas you’re remembered for something other than being the person who spilled red wine on your grandma.

As you scroll this page, you’re going to see some damn fine items and think “Wow, I should really get that for myself.” Well, don’t forget a main theme of the holidays: selfishness. If you need to treat yourself with half of this list, dammit you treat yourself. It’s what Santa would’ve wanted.

Floafers

Stop ruining your loafers at the lake. Inspired by classic driving loafers, you can drive across the country or just to the boat ramp in these. Also, congrats in advance on all the sex on a boat you’ll be enjoying. Use promo code “PGP10” for 10 percent off your order plus free shipping.

Patagonia ‘Better Sweater’ 1/4-Zip Fleece

If you’re not grabbing some Patagonia for your winter wear collection, you’re doing it wrong. Grab one for a family member and while you’re at it grab one for yourself too. Seven colors and they all look fire, so plenty of options to gift this winter staple.

Rowdy Gentleman ‘Good Times’ Sweatshirt

Looking for some bang to for your buck? Here’s your winner. Grab the navy for your brother and cop a weathered red for yourself. Looks good enough to go grab some beers on a chilly patio and is comfy enough to take a post-game nap on the couch in. Put your entire family on notice: it’s time to burn those old faded sweaters with bacon-neck.

Vineyard Vines ‘Football Field Whale’ Pocket Tee

For the family member who’s letting their t-shirt collection suffer. For the football guy (or even the football girl) who needs a good looking comfy tee in their life.

Columbia ‘Harborside’ PFG Fleece Vest

Grab this one while you can, because this fleece on sale is too good to pass up. Warm and versatile, Columbia has upped their vest game lately, and I’m personally a huge fan. Tell your dad to throw out that vest he’s had for a decade and try this on.

Yeti Rope Hat

Honestly the fact that noted rope hat guy Dave hasn’t bought all of these already is a fucking miracle. For the love of God, please grab this for that friend who wears the same sweat-stained hat from the ’07 US Open everywhere you go. It’ll bring the morale of the whole squad up never having to see that hat again.

Rowdy Gentleman ‘Duck Fish Deer’ Pocket Tee

You know damn well who this one is for. Everyone has that outdoorsy family member whose t-shirts are all stained with sweat and dip spit. Give him a shirt that’ll make him look like something other than an extra from the film Deliverance when he goes out in public.

Smartwool ‘Barnsley’ Crew Socks

Before you even think about putting these in someone else’s stocking, evaluate your own sock collection first. With these comfy Smartwool socks being on sale it’s just too good an opportunity to be your own Santa and treat your feet to some fashionable comfort.

Sperry Authentic Original 2-Eye Boat Shoe

“But I/He/They already has a pair of Sperrys!” Oh yeah? Smell them. A backup/replacement is a must, because one can’t be without this essential.

Patagonia ‘Go-To’ Boxers

Any man not surrounding his manhood with quality and comfort is making a serious mistake. Toss these in a stocking along with the socks and let one of your family members know that it’s the unseen comforts that make a difference.

Patagonia ‘Arbor 26L’ Backpack

For the cousin still using his fucking Jansport to bring his laptop to the office. Another staple that you need to make sure to have one for yourself as well. It’s Patagonia so you know this thing is probably going to outlive you and whoever you buy it for.

Herschel ‘Charlie’ Card Wallet

Don’t be the guy who sees his uncle walk by the Christmas tree with a broken down and far too big wallet protruding out of the back pocket of his pants like a deformed ass tumor and think “Shit, I should’ve grabbed that sleek slim wallet that was on sale.”

Go on a shopping deep dive, and make sure you’re treating you and all your relatives with only the finest..

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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