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Starbucks is doing everything in their damn power to stay on top of the coffee game. Between serving alcohol and updating their employee dress code, they’re clearly trying to get a grip on everyday ‘millennial’ rather than be your mom and dad’s coffee shop that just serves black, burned bean water.
Last week, they revealed a new drink creation called The Espresso Cloud IPA created by “coffee master” Justin Burns-Beach. I don’t know what a “coffee master” is but it appears that it’s a dude that sits in an exploratory Starbucks kitchen all day experimenting with espresso. Starbucks made a video explaining the concept as if it’s a new iPhone coming out.
There are two schools of thought here. The first is that this resembles a concoction that I used to drink while listening to Mac Miller’s “Donald Trump” at 11 a.m. before football games. But Four Loko has since been banned in that form because people were having heart attacks and stuff. And call me crazy, but this sounds even more aggressive.
The second school of thought is that this might be one of the worst ideas ever. Without going into too much detail, I can tell you one thing that espresso and IPAs both have in common: they often end with a ten-minute business meeting with the drinker and the bathroom. If you even entertain the thought of having more than one, you better have a fully charged laptop in the morning for when you’re working from home. You know what I’m sayin’, Campbell? .
[via Extra Crispy]
Image via YouTube