The Inner Monologue Of A Guy Who Has No Idea What To Do For Lunch

The Inner Monologue Of A Guy Who Has No Idea What To Do For Lunch

I have no idea what I’m doing for lunch today. This happens all too often, but I’m ill-prepared to deal with this doomsday scenario. Here are my thoughts on the matter.

I need to eat something soon.

A power lunch to power through the afternoon!

Can’t believe that’s a real thing my mind thought of.

I should finish reviewing these files before I go.

Actually, my blood-sugar is getting low, maybe, so I should fuel-up and get back to 100%.

There’s nothing around here.

I can’t do Jimmy John’s again.

Wonder what Will is doing?

Oh, he brought his lunch again.

Get off your high horse, Will.

I’m in a bad mood.

I should avoid interacting with others until I eat.

I should start bringing my lunch to save a little bit of money.

I’d order Chinese if the delivery minimum wasn’t 10 dollars.

Plus all that sodium will make me bloated.

If I go now it’s going to be a looooong afternoon.

But I’m fucking starving here.

May snag Nature Valley bar from the break room.

So. Many. Crumbs.

These aren’t even good.

Late lunch, short afternoon.

It’s almost noon.

Do I have any meetings this afternoon?

Wide open.

Chick-fil-a sounds hot, but I can’t deal with a 30-car drive-thru line.

And those kids that work there are almost too polite.

Just be real with me and hand me my spicy chicken.

Bet those kids love their job, though.

Chipotle again?

Such a bitch to find a parking spot over there. Place is a zoo.

I could get a bowl with no rice and feel good about myself.

I’ll see what Clay’s doing.

Chili’s again? Somebody got a raise.

I can splurge a little bit. Wonder who he’s going with?

Ehhh, I’m not sure I can deal with that group. I’d rather eat alone at my desk than talk shop with James.

There’s nothing to eat around here.

If I order pizza, I can eat the rest for dinner.

That’s the most pathetic thought I’ve ever had run through my head.

Oh, look at Michelle crushing that salad.

We get it– you’re a healthier and better person than all of us.

What’s that smell?

Another break room nightmare being heated up by Tracey.

Oh, it’s a “Culinary Creation” Lean Cuisine? That will somehow make it less shitty I’m sure.

What does that even mean?

How can she get full on 200 calories?

Fuck it, Chili’s it is.

They left me.

Didn’t wanna go anyway.

My wallet will thank me later.

I might mess around and hit up McDonald’s for old times’ sake.

Nah, if I bring that in I’ll be judged, and if I eat it in my car, I’ll be sad.

Jimmy John’s it is.

Was your lunch just complete garbage? You may enjoy this.

Image via Shutterstock

Email this to a friend


Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.

12 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Content

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take PGP with you. Get

New Stories

Load More