The Grey Areas Of Tipping

Two weekends ago, I finally made my parents proud. No, I didn’t make them proud by quitting drinking, smoking, or settling down with a girlfriend. They were proud that I was finally able to afford new furniture, and get rid of my horrid looking futon and mattress from college.

Prior to the delivery of my new bachelor approved couch and bed, I did some research to see if delivery people needed to be tipped; and by research, I mean asking my friends on Facebook. After I conducted the research, I discovered two things: my friends are still dumbasses, and we all have different ideas on who should be tipped for their work. In my particular case, I had responses ranging from no tip, $20, to 20%. I’m sorry, but the last time I gave anyone two Benjamins for their services was Destiny at a hotel in Waterloo, Iowa. Or was her name Cinnamon? I digress. After the delivery was made, I ended up tipping the guys $20, which I thought was more than enough for moving 4 pieces of furniture.

This experience got me thinking about the grey areas of tipping, because now it seems like anyone who does a service for a customer expects a hand-out. There are a few jobs that you should tip with no questions asked. The bartender at your favorite watering hole, your hair stylist, the chinese food or pizza delivery guy, and taxi drivers are all good examples of that. What I want to focus on is the unknown situations where tipping is necessary:

1) Restaurants with “To-Go” option


The “To-Go” option is nice at restaurants if you want to have an above average meal without the embarrassment of sucking down margaritas and chicken fingers in a booth by yourself, or to get a jumpstart on your Dexter binge on Netflix. There seems to be a grey area, however, if this requires a tip. Sure, they made your meal, boxed it up for you, and have it available at the counter, or better yet, bring it out to your car, but does this really require a tip? Think about it. Fast food restaurants do the same thing, but we never think about tipping the kid at the drive-thru. My verdict: No tip.

2) Coffee Shop Baristas

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The coffee shop is the first stop I make in the morning, because the coffee at my office tastes like fresh-brewed dirt. Every shop has a tip jar right by the cashier, just to give you the guilt trip and confusion of if you really should give an extra dollar or two. My synopsis: tip the barista based on the drink you order. If you’re like me and order the coffee of the day, no need to tip. If you’re ordering a multi-step drink, consider throwing an extra dollar or two for their efforts.

3) Hotel Maids


I admit, this is a service I forget about for tipping. These people, however, are modern day heroes. Think about all the disgusting shit they’ve come across in that profession. The unknown stains, skid marks on the toilet, empty bottles of booze, and possibly vomit on the floor if you really blacked out last night. My verdict: This goes on a case-by-case scenario. It’s not necessary to tip if you had a one-night stay and only used the bathroom once, but if you leave a complete disaster in the room, give these people a break and leave a tip.

4) Computer Repair


Let’s be honest. If this person can get your computer running smoothly after removing the numerous Trojan viruses from Pornhub. My verdict: Tip.

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Booze and Schmooze is a 2012 graduate from a state-run party school in Minnesota, with honors in keg stands, and passive-aggressive MN nice behavior. You can see him rollerblading in the Mall of America with a duck call in honor of the District 5 hockey team, who became the Mighty Ducks. "Let him make the first move, Conway" - Gordon Bombay

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