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I was a huge rap fan as a kid (still am), and I would always beg mom to turn to the one local rap station that was in my small town when we were rolling somewhere in her minivan. Typically, she would make it through about half a song and proceed to change the channel and drive me directly to church. I would always find a way to get a hold of rap CDs that had no business being in a middle school kid’s collection. Like most moms, she could tell I was up to no good and would continue to confiscate these albums throughout my adolescence. With rap music becoming more mainstream in the late ’90s and early 2000s, I feel this is a struggle a lot of my peers can relate to. Below are some rap albums your mom probably caught you listening too, and threw out your bedroom window after verbally abusing you for 30 minutes (yes, that happened to me).
Eminem, The Eminem Show
Eminem has always been one of the angriest rappers around, but back in 2002 he had little bit more edge due to some unresolved family issues like growing up in a trailer park, having terrible parents, and some ex-wife troubles. You know, just the normal every day stuff we all go through. “Without Me” was by far the dopest jam on this album, and I even talked the DJ into playing it at our 7th grade Christmas dance. Needless to say I got the middle school gym lit that night and wound up in detention the next day. To this day Eminem has remained one of my favorite rappers and continues to get better with age. Like an 11-year-old moron, I went and bragged to some older kids that I had the CD to look cool and my mom found out. Honestly, it’s the angriest I’ve ever seen my mom. With songs like “Superman” and “Cleaning Out My Closet,” I can’t blame her.
Ludacris , Word of Mouf
Easily the biggest offender on this list. If I had a dollar for every time Luda uttered some type of slur towards women on this album, I could probably retire in The Hamptons. “Move Bitch” was also played at one of my middle school dances and I believe a few teachers had to break up fights on the dance floor. Now that I’m looking back on it as an adult, who the hell approved this playlist for a middle school dance? What teacher looks at that playlist and says, “Yea, a song called Move Bitch seems like the perfect fit for 11- to 13-year-olds!” Obviously someone was spiking the break room coffee with Bailey’s that day, which I respect. I can still proudly rap every word to “Rollout,” “Area Codes,” and “Growing Pains.” I got this CD confiscated on a church mission trip when a parent counselor asked me what I was listening to and I just stared at her with a blank expression. Seventh Grade Me wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
50 cent, Get Rich or Die Trying
Feel free to hate all you want, but everyone was listening to this album when it came out. I’m pretty sure “In Da Club” was number one on TRL for a few months, so back the hell up before you start your verbal onslaught. The dude also got shot in the jaw and didn’t die which gave him some pretty serious street cred. In fact, I’ve been jamming to “P.I.M.P” while writing this paragraph and I’m starting to think maybe 50 ought to hit us with a new album soon. By the time mom found me listening to this album she had pretty much given up, so I actually never got this one confiscated.
How did I obtain all these albums as a kid in middle school? Just know I’ve had connects since Day One, fam. I was always the person to come talk to if you needed the hookup to dope beats on field trips to The World of Coca-Cola in Atlanta (if you’re from the south you probably went on a field trip here). Despite my mother’s best efforts, I found my way to the rap game and I’ve loved it ever since. Am I a poser? Maybe. But I once owned a pair of Timberlands in 7th grade so I’m pretty sure that makes me legit..
[Image via YouTube]