The Definitive Formula For Deciding Whether You Should Attend Your Team’s Bowl Game

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There’s nothing quite like college football bowl season. Nothing is as fulfilling as seeing your college team being rewarded for winning at least six games by playing a game halfway across the country that’ll be in a most likely half-filled stadium. The majority of the bowl games are simply a fun way to end the season, with the better ones turning into must-watch TV. One pressing issue with these, however, is if your team was fortunate enough to nab six victories, should you attend their season finale?

Making a trip for a bowl game can be a great damn time, but not always the most practical use of your time. Some of you may be conflicted, so I’ve gone scientific as shit on you and laid out a simple formula:

(F*.3) + (GI*.2) + (Fr*.2) +(C*.2) + (M*.1) = AR

F = Financial implications

GI = Game Importance

Fr = Friends attending

C = City of game

M = Miscellaneous Factor

AR = Attendance Rating

Each variable is given a rating of 1-10, with the final Attendance Rating being graded out as:

8-10 = “I’ll see your ass at the game”

6.5-8 = “I’m most likely going, let’s try to plan this out”

5-6.5 = “Maybe if timing works out, not committing though”

3.5-5 = “I’d rather watch it at a bar”

0 – 3.5 = “I’m not even going to watch this piece of shit”

Some of you may not have been math majors (I wasn’t either), so I’m gonna walk you through this nice and easy. My own CFB fan-hood is devoted to Virginia Tech, so we can use some real world examples based on this year’s Independence Bowl selection, as well as the 2012 Sugar Bowl vs Michigan in which I was in attendance (I think; I was blacked out almost the entire weekend). All these variables are relative to you and your own personal situation. Make the best calls for yourself and your own attendance.

Financial Implications

Going into this, like any normal football game, you know you’re going to spend decent money regardless. It just depends on how much, and how that affects you relative to your own financial state. Right off the bat, you obviously need to consider tickets. If your team is in the Piece-of-Shit Toilet Bowl, you’re not breaking bank. However, national semi-final game however might have you taking out a loan. From there you’re factoring in plane/car travel, lodging, food/drink, the works, and it adds up.

I’m not exactly rolling in it, but the Independence Bowl is in Shreveport, which is driving distance, and tickets are cheap as shit, because no one wants to watch VT & Tulsa. Factoring in lodging and entertainment, it shouldn’t kill me.

Rating: 7

My dad and brother joined me in my Sugar Bowl roadtrip and paid for my ticket, hotel, and drove, so that eased the burden. That being said NOLA bled me dry, as I spent every bit of cash I brought on booze, food, and yes, strippers. I was in my prime.

Rating: 5

Game Importance

This one should be obvious. If your team is in the playoff, this gets a hard fucking 10. If you’re duking it out in the Beef-O-Brady’s bowl, better tone down the enthusiasm.

The Independence Bowl isn’t exactly the big time, and I’ve watched exactly 0 minutes of Tulsa football this year. But it’s Beamer’s last game, so that has to count for something.

Rating: 3

Being in a BCS bowl was great, but neither team was a conference champ and honestly may have gotten chosen over some more deserving teams because their fans travel. But ask me if I care.

Rating: 8

Friends Attending

I don’t care where you’re going or what city it is; your squad can make or break the trip. I’d tell you right now that I’d rather be in El Paso with my A team then in Shreveport with a bunch of dudes that I fucking hate.

Right now, as most VT fans are in Virginia, and with the Independence Bowl not exactly being important, the forecast isn’t looking great for a decent turnout. Frankly, if it wasn’t within driving distance, I wouldn’t even consider it.

Rating: 1

The Sugar Bowl on the other hand was destined to be a rager. My childhood best friend was part of a big group of friends that got torn up by Bourbon Street together. Somehow convincing people to make the trip to New Orleans was easier than Shreveport.

Rating: 10

Destination

Also should be a no brainer, although like I said earlier, everything is relative. Going to the Alamo Bowl in San Antonio would gather a high grade for me, as I live 20 min from the Alamodome. If I’m going bowling, I at least want an overnight trip out of it.

To the naked eye, Shreveport would appear to be a shithole when compared to other bowl cities. But, Shreveport has casinos, and if you don’t remember, I fucking love gambling.

Rating: 5

The Sugar Bowl was in fucking New Orleans. ‘Nuff said.

Rating: 10

Miscellaneous Factor

This can be anything related to your own personal circumstance that doesn’t fit into the other four categories. For instance, it’s the only chance you can see your team play in person this year, or any other random factor you can manage to think of.

For instance, if I were to go to the Independence Bowl, being played on the 26th, I’d have to explain to my 84-year-old grandparents that while I’m thankful for them flying in, I’ll be leaving in the middle of their trip, on Christmas Day, to go watch a shitty football game in Louisiana. I’ll subsequently be written out of their wills and become the family black sheep.

Rating: 1

Living in Texas, I rarely ever get to see VT play, so when they lost he conference championship game in 2012 but then were undeservedly plopped into a BCS bowl that’s nearby? And my friends were going? Yeah, that was pretty chill.

Rating: 10

Final tallies:

Independence Bowl: 4

Looks like your boy is watching that shit from his couch with Crash Jr.

Sugar Bowl: 8.1

I went. I saw. I blacked out.

Happy bowling all, enjoy the rest of what CFB has to offer. Go Hokies..

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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