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Ah shit, guys, it happened again. Given the compressed week and the mere fact that Kyle and I have some super necessary lawn-watering to do, you’re not gonna get a Dadgum Podcast this week. Make sure you catch up on last week’s episode though:
I know, I know. How will you and/or your offspring possibly survive without the fount of knowledge that is our podcast? Look, I’m here to help. I’ll give you a little piece of content right here to get you by until the next shipment comes in. That ought to cure at least the spiders and the shakes. You’ll just have to ride out the headaches.
Y’all probably know the drill by now. We’re a podcast about dad shit. We talk about the stuff we go through on a week-to-week basis, dads in the news, probably a little bit of stuff about our favorite TV dads and usually a whole lot of bathroom stuff. We also give our mutual two cents (that’s four whole cents!) on the questions you guys send us. In all seriousness, I really do like this community we have going. You’re all good folks and we both appreciate every interaction we have with you. If you want to join in on the fun, hit us up on Instagram, Twitter, or even email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This Week In Parenting
We just had Memorial Day, which is a time to solemnly remember those who never made it back home. As a part of this remembrance, we take a day off and get our summer on, since we know that’s what they would have wanted.
My Memorial Day weekend was pretty nice. We packed up the whole fam and headed on down to Port Aransas, Texas, a formerly sleepy beach town that is now a hotbed of hurricane war profiteers and families rolling coal in the Whataburger drive-thru. The whole crew was made up of nine adults, two toddlers and two infants. A manageable ratio, even when the moms all decided to abscond with our golf cart and get faced in the early afternoon.
Myself, I managed the food chain of the operation. Over the course of the weekend, we had shrimp linguini, grilled shrimp and grouper, and finished the weekend off with a good ol’ fashioned fish fry. Nobody went hungry, but I’m pretty sure I made an enemy for life at Paul’s Seafood. Hey, you’re an asshole for charging us the same price with the heads on, Paul.
We had some good beach time and nobody got sunburnt. More importantly, we taught the two older boys the vital lesson that you pee WITH the wind, not against it. We’ll see if they retained anything.
Anyway, I’d like to give some quick shoutouts.
Banana Boat Sunscreen: I’ve been a fan of this stuff since I attained a never-ending supply of it as a city lifeguard back in my youth. It gets on you and there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m probably still impervious to UV rays since applying it for the first and only time about a week ago. Also, you kept my kid from getting a sunburn and that’s invaluable because I don’t think there’s a way he would understand why that pain was happening. So thank you.
Rowdy Gentleman swimwear: I talked a little about this in our episode with Barrett Dudley, and I gotta say, this suit really held up to the task. I had kids grabbing onto it while fishing sunglasses out of the surf and throw a football, and they still looked awesome when I made a run to the grocery store without changing, since we were out of peanut oil. Do yourself a favor and grab a pair.
Draymond Green: Look, I still hate Draymond’s guts, but his son totally stole the show during the postgame interview after the Western Conference Finals was said and done. But you know, he’s still a piece of shit.
That Ukranian Journalist Who Faked His Own Death: Look I know the cover is because the Russians had a hit out on you, but we all know you just needed a day or two to yourself from the fact that you have six kids. We’ve all been there, man.
Towards the end of each episode, we take listener questions on anything parenthood related. We’ve had everything from the super heavy to the lighthearted and everything in between. We have so many good ones, that we’re going to feature an all-listener question episode sometime in the near future, so definitely subscribe to Grandex Labs, it’s gonna be a banger.
For the purposes of here and now, we have a nice little quickie from @Aurelio1869 on Twitter:
Tell us about the first time you were alone with your infant child.
Honestly, I don’t remember. I was in a panicked state for roughly the first five months of my kid’s life, as I didn’t know shit about taking care of a baby. But thinking back, most of my alone time with him early on just consisted of propping him up with some pillows and watching baseball on TV (he was born during the ’13 playoffs). So it was really just like watching baseball with one of my drunk buddies. Just someone who’d sit there and occasionally puke.
Mrs. Icehouse used to travel for work a whole bunch, so the first time I was left alone with the kid was right around when he was nine weeks old. Luckily, this was probably week three of the football season, so we had a nice little time of just hanging out and watching some #sports. When they’re that young you can’t really stray too far from home, so to get out of the house I went to my cousin’s house for a bit, then for another adventure, we hit up this brewery that makes really good wings. When you’re flying solo, you have to shift your schedule to meet theirs, which means I binged Narcos on Netflix by watching a couple of episodes at 3 a.m. every night.
As dedicated listeners are aware, we always end our shows with a little piece of advice from both of us. The piece of advice we have for you here is that you better go ahead and subscribe to Grandex Labs so you can get the real advice. You probably knew that was coming, but there’s some good shit in there. Just subscribe, hit five stars, leave us a review telling us we’re awesome, and fast forward to the last little bit of each episode. It’ll be good for everyone. .
Image via Hulu