======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Hell hath no fury like the Sunday Scaries. They’re an epidemic. A nationwide curse that causes hundreds of thousands of broke millennials to Favor Chipotle for $25, mooch off each other’s streaming passwords, and huddle deep inside their bedrooms until the wee hours of the night dreading the return to work, school, or the office.
Whatever your reason is for actually getting the Sunday Scaries – work, money, relationships, whatever – there is one singular cause that is often misconstrued as the only cause for the Scaries. But that notion, while accurate in some sense, is largely incorrect.
That reason? Being hungover, of course.
Often times, one will state their condition on a grandiose scale (read: a group iMessage) only to be chastised – “But you didn’t even go out last night,” they’ll say. These misinformed naysayers are thinking too narrowly with too small of a scope. It’s unfair to both you and your Scaries.
Yes, hangovers are one of the major causes of the Sunday Scaries. But there are many causes. The Frights, as some call them, are more apt to come around when your sleeping schedule has been knocked off its pedestal by one, two, or maybe even three nights of heavy drinking and debauchery. You spend your entire Sunday trying to pick up the pieces that all seemed to fit perfectly together on Friday afternoon while planning happy hour, only to come up empty. The hungover dread that falls over you like a dark blanket is a feeling all too familiar to most of us.
But there’s more to it than just that.
The singular notion that the Scaries cannot simply exist without being hungover is preposterous malarkey. The claim that the two go hand-in-hand and cannot exist solely on their own is simply, well, blasphemous.
The Sunday Scaries, at their root, are defined simply – “The feeling of dread that sets in on Sunday nights with the impending return to the office, school, or work.” At no point in that brief, simple, and accurate description does it note that the Scaries are spurned by the consumption of brown liquor and numerous beers. Alcohol, while not the cause, simply exists as a gateway drug that often leads to the Sunday Scaries but does not cause the Sunday Scaries.
Perhaps you hate your boss. Or you’re ill prepared for a deadline. Your boyfriend has been distant lately. You received not one, but two “Track Your Spending” emails from American Express on Saturday night. You yearn for a promotion. You hate the city you live in. You’re uninspired outside of work. You feel as though your valuable time on this earth is wasted.
Whatever spawns this quarter-life existential crisis is valid because it gives you the anxiety we all fear. The Scaries are a disease caused by many varying factors that cannot simply be narrowed down into one cause. They’re all-encompassing. They’re a lifestyle. They’re individualized.
So despite the fact that you are actually hungover, don’t allow your night of painting the town red to exasperate you more than it already has. Those Scaries? They’ll be their either way – 1 a.m. well tequila shots or not. .