The Best Vacations Are The Ones Where You Do Nothing

The Best Vacations Are The Ones Where You Do Nothing

My office has a really absurd paid time off policy: an employee may carry no more than 40 hours of PTO at the end of the year. While this is an incredible kick in the dick, what makes it extra shit is that they cap it on December 15, meaning if you wanted to use some of those hours around the holidays, you know, when people actually need time off, you’re utterly fucked if you want to have anything left over for the new year.

This policy is actually an improvement. You see, it used to be worse. Our 40 hour cap was strictly enforced for a July 1 cutoff. Any hours over the 40 hour limit were lost. I cannot, for the life of me, understand how such a bullshit policy is in place, but then again, I’m not a soul sucking HR drone.

Since Thanksgiving fell at the end of the week, if I took two days off, I got nine days off. I haven’t had an entire week off that didn’t involve a wedding since college. Even then, I was always working, caddying, doing yard work or helping my uncle at the family business during whatever break brought me home.

Truthfully, it was one of the most refreshing times I’ve had in a while. Usually, anytime I have time off is devoted to doing adult chores like haircuts, car inspections, grocery shopping or whatever other bullshit I need to do during business hours. Having zero obligation for a few days is wonderful. It’s great staying up as late as I want, drinking beer (Bell’s Two Hearted Ale – it’s hard to find here but If you have the means, I highly recommend picking some up) on a Tuesday at 8:30 a.m. and watching reruns of Scooby Doo while eating Count Chocula. As a side note, Count Chocula is the best cereal. You get the marshmallows of Lucky Charms, chocolate cereal of Coco Puffs and the chocolate milk at the end.

The whole ordeal reminded me of Office Space, when Peter talks about what he’d do if he won a million dollars. Sitting on your ass and doing nothing is my preferred vacation. I don’t feel like having to travel or fulfill obligations is really a vacation. Ever go to Disney and realize you need a vacation from your vacation? My fondest vacations are going to the Outer Banks, hanging out at the beach, boogie boarding, watching movies and grilling. I feel like in today’s society, we are so busy that we forget to stop and look around.

I haven’t felt this free in a long time. I could take a nap if I wanted, order take-out, watch as much porn as I wanted and go to bed whenever. There was no alarm to wake me up. Waking up naturally is one of the greatest feelings on earth. I can’t remember the last time I slept in past 9 a.m., but I can confirm that it was majestic.

Too often, we fall in a vicious cycle of work, sleep and paying bills. Our leisure time is seriously handicapped due to the trials and tribulations of life. Do yourself a favor, take a week off, hell even a few days, for yourself. Get your ducks lined up, get all the bullshit garbage like food shopping and cleaning done the week before and enjoy some time to yourself. Drink a case of beer, get a pedicure,

watch movies, do whatever you want, it’s a free country. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Image via YouTube

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I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.

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