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The Best Random Jobs On Craigslist This Week: Unemployed & Depressed

The Best Random Jobs On Craigslist This Week: Unemployed & Depressed

Did you just unload on your post-game press conference and maybe need to think about a new job? Let’s see what Craigslist has for you.

From Nashville, TN: GHOSTBUSTERS WANTED

This is everything I’ve ever wanted. I knew this would eventually be a real thing. Handing in my two weeks as fast as possible.

Just kidding. Delivery Dudes is growing but if we just said, “delivery driver wanted” you’d have cruised right by this posting.

Oh you son of a bitch.

From Austin, TX: **Start Tomorrow** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why don’t you chill out with the exclamation points you psychopath? This is a job posting, not a teenage girl’s text messages.

From Austin, TX: Billingual SUPERSTAR Needed for BOOMING area!

Bilingual Superstar,

Eso es lo que eres,

Translating from afar,

Alcanzando las estrellas

From San Antonio, TX: Fabricator

They said:

Hiring a fabricator that can lay out, read blueprints, weld with mig, fluxcore, and stick. Must have experience building handrails stairs and platforms.

I read:

“Need a high stakes liar who can and is willing to forge everything from a birth certificate to tax documents.”

From San Diego, CA: UNEMPLOYED AND DEPRESSED? GET PAID $1173 PER WEEK

ATTN PGP Commenter Employed & Depressed:

I know first hand how depressed and anxious you can get when you are looking for a job and your money is running out, because I have been there more than once. That is why I have formed this company, to help you get the support you need

Come work for a guy who also gets fired all the time. Also how do you come up with the sum of $1,173 a week? “Hate even numbers? Boy do I have the salary for you!”

From New Orleans, LA: Boat needed to go from Natchez to New Orleans 5/11-12

Not sure how many readers we have in the private boat in the Nola area game, but never hurts to share an opportunity. Before you take it up though, take a peak at this:

My mother would like to see the southern Mississippi and we have to be in New Orleans Friday 5/12. She’s 81 (I’m 57) so it needs to be a fairly large boat.

What about their ages deems that it needs to be a fairly large boat, unless the family has a “gain 10 lbs per year” policy.

From Nashville, TN: We Want Landscapers! (That’s You!)

No it’s not.

From Palm Beach, FL: Golf Course Chemical Spray Technician

With most prospective jobs I make a pros & cons list.

Pros: Likely opportunity at playing a bunch of free golf at a relatively nice course.

Cons: Inhaling potentially poisonous chemicals and dealing with lifelong health defects.

Worth it.

Job Of The Week

From Palm Beach, FL: Solve America’s Health Care Crisis

Talk about a job with some importance. The healthcare crisis has dominated the news lately; don’t you want to be the one to fix it? But why are you solving it in Palm Beach you ask?

Well, Palm Beach is home to the new southern White House, the Mar-A-Lago.

This is a year round position with a company that is growing and will be opening multiple locations.

Looks like the White House is expanding nationwide guys. Can’t wait to see what the South Dakota White House looks like. Requirements, you ask?

strong closing skills

Saw that one coming. Only a true deal closer can clinch the healthcare bill deal.

Image via Shutterstock

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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