The Bachelor In Paradise Roster Is Rounding Into Shape And I Can’t Wait For More Chad

The Bachelor In Paradise Roster Is Rounding Into Shape And I Can't Wait For More Chad

If you’re still sporting a raging Throner after this past Sunday’s GoT season finale, don’t worry. Summer trash TV will fill a needed void. Paradise will not be lost.

According to Wetpaint, more names have been confirmed and rumored for Bachelor in Paradise Season 3, and from the looks of it, it’s going to be a murderer’s row. A goldmine of content to fill the void between The Bachelorette and The Bachelor.

On the girls side, alumni Carly Waddell and Sarah Herron are confirmed, while Ashley Iaconetti is rumored. They’ll join eleven of Ben Higgins’s ex-girlfriends. Among the confirmed are Emily and Haley Ferguson, the two greatest twins on earth (one who even made Ben’s mom cry); Jubilee Sharpe, whose arsenal of (war) veteran moves may make for high quality TV; Amanda Stanton, who leaves her two young daughters behind once again because clearly they’re too much of a handful; Lace Morris, who burned too bright and fizzled in mere days at The Mansion, though her booze-fueled antics got such national acclaim that they were even parodied on SNL; Leah Block, who still curses Lauren B’s name under her breath; and Izzy Goodkind (WHO?!). She for sure didn’t make it out of week 1.

Also rumored are Jennifer Saviano who will try and make it deep into her second reality show without ever actually speaking, Jami Letain, unemployed hover board enthusiast Rachel Tchen, and Crick Watson’s girlfriend Lauren Himle.

On the men’s side, alumni Nick Viall (of course) and Jared Haibon are confirmed to join rumored Jef Holm and Josh Murray. They will join eight of Jojo’s former harem, the likes of which figure to result in potential brawls. International sensation Chad Johnson is confirmed. Thank fucking God. So is boner superstar and T-shirt avenger Evan Bass. Double thank God. Everyone’s favorite crappy barber Vinny Ventiera is also confirmed, if only to dole out haircuts on the beach. Big chin Grant Kemp is confirmed as well.

They join the rumored Christian Bishop, the guy that gets up at 4:30 a.m. to do insane workouts; Wells Adams, who last night we saw struggle to kiss a girl like he was the fourteen-year-old version of me; Derek Peth, who we also saw kicked off last night, crying his way home from Argentina; and James Taylor, who is in fact still currently vying for Jojo’s attention, though the rose he got last night was essentially a participation trophy.

One name that everyone is clamoring for is Olivia, but she’s noticeably absent from the list. I’m sure if she had found a way off that deserted island we last saw her on she’d be on this show, so one can only assume she’s still there. But in my heart of hearts I hope she’s fashioned a raft akin to Castaway hoping to wash on shore wherever filming of Paradise will take place. Now THAT would be more mind blowing than what we saw on Thrones last Sunday.

Image via YouTube

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Boston Max

Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly

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