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Alright folks – we’re in the home stretch. Just three more episodes before we find out which one of the four remaining women Arie will bend the knee for and extend that ever so priceless Neil Lane engagement ring to symbolize his love and commitment that will last somewhere between 3 and 18 months by contractual obligation before he goes back to prowling for ASU coeds. But before any of that can happen, he has to relive the plot of Meet the Parents four times for our enjoyment. Buckle up, folks.
Hometown Dates are arguably the best episode of the season – what more could you want than seeing the reactions of innocent families when they realize their sweet daughters have been Stockholm Syndrome’d into telling some pseudo-celebrity polygamist “I’m falling in love with you.” To make this even better, we like to turn this episode into a competitive drinking game. Every year, the same shit happens on this episode, so let’s stay on our toes with a little game of Bachelor Bingo.
Here’s how it works. Click here for a link to a randomly generated bingo card. Print out one, print out two, print out a thousand and give them to all of your friends. Congrats on having a thousand friends, by the way, you must be really fun at parties. If you have no friends and/or want to save paper and the earth, you can also play from your phone, tablet, or computer. Each square will have an event that is likely to occur during the episode on it. I’ll be live tweeting the episode from @CrickWatsonMD using #BachelorBingo, so throw me a follow and when one of these events transpires, you’ll see it pop up on your feed. When it does, mark it off, take a big gulp of your alcoholic beverage of choice, and keep playing.
When you get five in a row (column, row, or diagonal – we’re leaving that clusters and four corners bullshit back in third grade where it belongs) – here’s what you do. First, finish your goddamn drink. Second, taunt all your friends about how you’re so much better than them. Third, and most importantly, tweet a picture of that sweet, victorious bingo card to me and I will reward you with you all the fake Internet points I can muster.
For shits and giggles, here’s a list of all the squares we’ll be playing with this round:
– “I’m in love with Arie!”
– Arie cries
– Girl takes Arie to her job
– “There’s still 3 women left…”
– Girl cries
– Embarrassing childhood photo
– Bangable mom
– Arie touches taxidermy
– Redneck date activity
– Mom kisses Arie on the cheek
– Dad cries
– Family member questions Arie’s intentions
– “This is my favorite place”
– Visible weapon
– Girl gets noticeable haircut/dye job
– Hotter sister
– Arie hugs a dad
– Reference to the Fantasy Suite
– Grandparent sighting
– “Are you ready to get married”
– Family member drinking hard liquor
– Girl says “Daddy”
– Arie gets denied permission to propose
– Pet sighting
– “There’s something you should know…”
– Becca gets a rose
– Lauren B gets a rose
– Kendall gets a rose
– Tia gets a rose
And of course,
– “Right reasons”
Have fun, get drunk, and enjoy your Bachelor Monday!.
Respond
@CrickWatsonMD
I hope the wrong Lauren B picture is intentional
this is what leads to browning out on a monday.
Bingo!