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I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your office scene may be kinda bland. I’m sure you’ve got a few tongue-in-cheek motivational posters, and maybe a pic of that chick you dated in college that’s kind of devolved into a weird on again, off again, thing, but that’s not going to cut it. I’ve got three recommendations for you that will change your whole perspective on shit.

You probably take a lot of shit throughout the day, and there’s no better way to blow off steam than embarrassing some sucker from accounting in a quick game of HORSE. Or, if you really want to take things up a notch, you can show everyone how hard you go in the paint. Leave Darren from advertising in tears with one of these:

Are you one of those overlooked key players that never gets any face time with the boss? Roll this bad boy out in your office and you’ll be working on your stroke and talking business over scotch with your superiors. Make sure you celebrate appropriately.

Or, if you leave one short…

I don’t know what you do for a living, but there’s a good chance that whatever it is, you’re not able to do it well if you’re hungover. Naturally, that’s where these little bottles of gold come into play. You need to keep a stash in a drawer that you can access immediately upon shutting down for the day and charging the bar. Buy plenty, because if you’re the guy that kept coworkers from being hungover the day after happy hour, you’re probably going to get laid. And promoted. Maybe at the same damn time. Feel free to splurge, because you’re covered.

There you go. Feel free to pick up one, two, or if you’re a boss player, three of these items. You’ll instantly become the office alpha. .

Image via Shutterstock

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Dave

Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.

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