The 2015 U.S. Open Drinking Game

The 2015 U.S. Open Drinking Game

I’m not sure about you guys, but one of my go-to cures for the Sunday Scaries is getting butt-deep on my couch and watching golf. With this year’s U.S. Open being on the west coast, the primetime coverage is like a gift from the Sunday Scaries Gods. Where I used to have to figure out what to do with myself every Sunday around 7 p.m., this year’s coverage is going to allow me to lethargically fall asleep just after this year’s champion (please be Spieth, please be Spieth) holes out on 18.

This primetime coverage? It’s a gift. And to whom much is given, much is expected. We can’t just sit on our couches drinking lemon waters nursing our hangovers. We have to channel our inner-college student and make the most of Pacific Standard Time. With all the nuances of Chambers Bay and Fox’s first-time-ever coverage, it’s opened up a whole can of worms when it comes to points of interest and topics of discussion. Which obviously means we need a drinking game.

Drink if:

• Tiger Woods is mentioned (despite missing the cut)
• Spieth talks to his ball
• A shot uses ProTracer technology
• Someone asks, “Who is this Grace guy?”
• You mistake a sprinkler head for the hole
• Someone you’re watching with expresses a distaste for Joe Buck
• A commentator says, “fescue”
• The Chase Cam on hole #1 is used
• Dustin Johnson is referred to as “DJ”
• You can’t tell where the fairway ends and the green begins
• There is sexual chemistry between Holly Sonders and whoever she’s interviewing
• Jason Day’s vertigo is mentioned
• An announcer states, “You’re gonna make bogeys at the U.S. Open.”
• Spieth’s “maturity” is referenced
• Someone in the gallery screams something idiotic
• The slope on any given green is utilized on an approach
• A close-up of a tee shot is featured
• Saturday’s fire is discussed
• Spieth berates himself in a very PG manner

Finish your drink if:

• Branden Grace wins and ruins everyone’s U.S. Open

And if it’s tied after Sunday and we get an 18-hole playoff on Monday? Let’s run it back and do it again.

Image via Debby Wong /

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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