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Brooks Powers
School: University of Texas
Hometown: Dallas, TX
Internship: Exxon Mobil
Division: Reservoir Management
Major: Biochemistry
GPA: 4.0
Student Loan Debt: -$2,763 (taken out to cover gambling debt)
Golf Handicap: +4
Work Ethic: 9/10
Pros:
– Probably will be a millionaire before he’s 30.
– The epitome of “work hard, play hard.”
– Insanely smart. Way smarter than you.
– Almost too talented, like Bradley Cooper in “Limitless,” basically.
– Has had sex with so many women that you’re bound to be eskimo brothers with him.
Cons:
– No way he’s working at your company.
– Trying to get on the PGA Tour. Work might have to wait a while.
– Coke problem.
Projected: Top 5
Recruiter says: “Good luck trying to get this kid to come work for your company. He was already making $20/hour with Exxon and his salary demands are in excess of six figures, and he’s going to get that much. You don’t want a biochem major running laps around you in the conference room, anyway. It’s a bad look for you.”
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TheChampionsTour
TheChampionsTour (@ChampsTourTFM) is a contributing writer for Post Grad Problems, Rowdy Gentleman, and Total Frat Move .
@TheChampsTour
Pure gold. Now only if we could add a Postgrad Romance Novel or maybe a choose your an adventure (day at work).
Good stuff. Just wanted to point out that from everyone I know that did an internship for Deloitte or my other national firm, 50k salary is on the lower end of the pay scale.
Those assholes.
Ever get tired of “Not here for a hookup” on Tinder? I present to you “Tinder for Sluts.”
This was great but did anyone else notice the massive amount of Silicon Valley (TV Show) references?
…massive?
I don’t see how that’s a problem.