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15. Forbes Released The 10 Best Cities For Employment For College Grads And They All Blow
“Just graduated college and your options are continuing that unpaid internship or flipping burgers? Well, that’s probably because you don’t live in one of these 10 cities. Forbes just released their list of the top 10 cities for new college graduates based on millennial population, jobs per 1,000 residents, lifestyle, unemployment rate, and median rent for a two-bedroom apartment. The good news is that the jobs are out there again. The bad news is that they’re all in cities that suck. I’ll go through the rankings below — let me know if I’m missing something, but honestly, I think I’ll keep my receptionist job somewhere the sun actually shines, thank you very much.”
14. Jordan Spieth Just Bombed A Happy Gilmore-Style Drive While Golfing With Jake Owen
“Despite the #SummerOfJordan being over, that doesn’t mean he has to stop being awesome. Even in the thick of winter, Jordan is still out there doing things that make me blindly worship a 22-year-old dude with a receding hairline.
Case and point: while golfing with country music star Jake Owen today, Spieth wrecked a Happy Gilmore-style drive in front of a pretty stacked gallery. Well, at least for a charity tournament.”
13. If You Got A Handy In The Stands At The Bills Game Yesterday, Your New Lover Is Looking For You
“A Craigslist post from Western New York has the details. Basically, while her boyfriend was in the bathroom, some assumably heinous Buffalo chick jerked off the face-painted guy next to her until he creamed his pants. It’s basically Buffalo’s version of Romeo and Juliet.”
12. These Real Life Answers To What People Do After Work Are Hilariously Depressing
“I dream of the days when I could go home from work, pound a million beers with some buddies while watching a Tigers game, and feel no effect the next day when I’d wake up for work and do it all over again. Now, I get home from work and drink a couple drinks in hopes that I won’t get a minor hangover that will linger through lunch. I lethargically fall asleep while scrolling Instagram before my 6:30 alarm goes off and I hop back on the grind.
But just when I thought that sounded depressing, I read Reddit’s “What are you doing after work tonight?” prompt and all of the sudden felt awesome about the state of my life.”
11. Forbes’ List Of America’s Most Affordable Cities Is Full Of Cities That Suck
“The demographic shifts are clear – more and more postgrads are flocking to smaller cities in search of urban amenities without the exalted cost of living that New York and San Francisco bring. Of course, “smaller cities” refers to places like Austin and Nashville, but there are even smaller, even cheaper options out there for those really looking to pinch pennies. Then again, with only a few exceptions, the list of America’s most affordable cities is as depressing as it gets.”
10. Larry David’s Daughter Has The Most Phenomenally Basic Instagram Account Ever
“I officially want Larry David’s daughter in my squad because this girl is redefining “basic” with every Instagram she puts up. Don’t believe me? Just watch.”
9. Ladies Reveal The Worst Things Guys Have Said To Them After Sex
“I’m not a big fan of Reddit, just because I don’t know how to maneuver through all the pages. Gah, I bet that sounded like something an old man would say. Either way, someone will occasionally send me a Reddit thread that is worth sharing with other people. This is one of those threads. It’s a post from AskReddit, and the prompt is simple: What is the worst thing guys have said to girls after having sex?”
8. The Most Popular Dog Names Of 2015 Are Going To Make You Really Want To Buy A Dog
“I spent the better part of Q1 dogsitting for my friend’s parents bird dogs and I fell in love with them. Now with every Springer Spaniel or English Setter I see, a part of me dies inside knowing that I don’t have one to go home to. I spend time on Filson picking out collars, I follow like a million Instagram accounts dedicated to pups, and I stop in my tracks on the street looking like the heart-eye Emoji when someone rolls by me with one of those cute little mutts on a leash. But above all, I already have a million names picked out for every scenario. And no, I’m not divulging them here.
If you’re not like me, Rover made an entire infographic outlining information you never even knew you wanted regarding dog names, including the top names of 2015.”
7. Joe Rogan Absolutely Fries Vegan Trolls On Instagram With Fantastic Rant
“If you follow Rogan, you know that he’s not afraid to share the occasional venison steak or elk backstrap with the world, a social media strategy that never fails to piss some people off. I guess things came to a head tonight when Joe posted a pic of some elk backstrap that he prepared which appears to be a thousand times more presentable than anything I’ve ever grilled.”
6. Here Are The Median Millennial Incomes Across The Country And, Oh Shit, We’re Broke
“If our bank account statements and credit card debt tell us anything, it’s that we’re all broke AF. A new map from Business Insider shows us what we already know – median income for millennials absolutely blows.”
5. Maddie Brenneman Is The Scorching Hot Fly Fishing Guide Who Just Put Every Girl In The World On Notice
“She exists, guys. Maddie Brenneman is a Colorado fly fishing guide who loves “Clean Rivers & Healthy Fish,” aaaand I just became an advocate of fresh water conservation and meaty steelheads. See for yourself.”
4. All These Photos From The Hunt Will Redefine Your Fall Squad Goals
“Not sure what The Hunt is? No problem, you’re not alone. Here’s a quick synopsis: The Far Hills Race Meeting (aka ‘The Hunt’) is a horse race that takes place in Far Hills, New Jersey where a bunch of WASPy northeastern post grads spend the entire day getting hammered in LL Bean Boots, camel cable knit sweaters, plaid buttondowns, and sunglasses that cost more than an iPhone without a data plan.”
3. Lawyer Known As The “Texas Law Hawk” Is Dropping The Greatest Attorney Ads Of All Time
“The State of Texas is home to many great attorney advertisements, but Fort Worth criminal defense attorney, Bryan Wilson, just changed the game forever. Known as the ‘Texas Law Hawk,’ this wild man is making a name for himself by hitting sick wheelies and liberally inserting hardcore screams from birds of prey into his ads.”
2. A Breakdown Of Forbes’ List Of The Best-Paying Jobs For Women
“Wondering what the best job is to pursue as a woman in the workforce? Luckily for you, Forbes has released their list of the best-paying jobs for women in 2015. Sorted by salary, they also indicate the positions that pay women more than their male counterparts, which is great for my ego. What’s bad for my ego is that it doesn’t look like I’ll be applying to any of these jobs anytime soon with my Bachelor’s and 3-5 years of related administrative experience. But for those of you with LinkedIn profiles a little more flushed out than mine, take a look because you may just be looking at your future career.”
1. Universal Is Opening A Nintendo Theme Park, Your 10-Year-Old Self Is Gonna Crap His Pants
“Nintendo announced that they’ll be taking their talents to Orlando (and Hollywood, Japan, Singapore and future properties), bringing their timeless games and beloved characters to Universal theme parks. Feel that pit in your stomach? That’s your 10-year-old self’s balls dropping in excitement.” .
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